Thursday, April 23, 2009

Close to Your Heart

They say your past defines you; makes you who you are today. Going through struggles and trials in our lifetime builds up character and endurance, so that we can handle future blows much more easily. Is it easier, or is it that we’ve become so desensitized to it all? Maybe some of us are just like, screw it, whatever! Or is it strength? I think it depends on so many various types of personalities. You have one set of people where they would improve their actions, words and strategies to get through it all, and then you have another set of people where they would simply give up and not care. “Your past struggles and trials in life make you stronger” no longer applies to the second set of people who have simply thrown their hands up and either sought solace in a bottle or worse yet, have inflicted some type of harm to themselves, or did the inevitable. It’s a nice, encouraging saying, however it doesn’t apply to all people. And yes, the bible even states this beautiful saying numerous times.

Strength. What is strength? Is it the ability to overcome challenges by facing it head on? Or is it the ability to run away from it and hide? When we hide from our problems, does it mean that it’s no longer there? If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it . . . I’m a firm believer in resolutions. I believe in closure, whether this means ending it completely or resolving the issue(s) with a mending strategy. If something isn’t dealt with (closed), then it is still lingering. There are people who can live with no closure and have that be all. For me, resolving something: say an issue, argument or fight with a loved one - regardless - I want to resolve, forgive, be forgiven or even if forgiveness is not an option, explain my side and have them explain theirs. As for my belief, when there is no forgiveness and we are long gone from this earth (death), I do believe that our souls roam endlessly still looking for that earthly closure, when all along, we could have done that while being alive and went toward the light instead.

There is one exception though: those who lost loved ones through death and weren't able to say their goodbyes. That’s a touchy subject for many. I totally believe that forgiveness takes place in our hearts and souls when we let that person go. Or could it be the same here on earth: letting the person go is closure in itself?   I’ve always compared deaths and breakups to have a similar affect on the human psyche, with the exception of the rule regarding a breakup or a divorce being much harder on the person, because their loved one is still out there with possible negative feelings toward their ex. Many people believe in different ways to overcome challenges such as these. Some feel that a clean break is needed and others feel that complete closure and understanding should take place in order to move onto the next phase.

Different strokes.

In my experience and past, I’ve always sought out for closure and resolutions. I have had a lot of things out there not “closed”. I have moved past certain unresolved issues and have made it out alive, so now these days, I’m wondering, if making a clean break, even if that means no closure, is the better route to take? There’s another phrase which many religions believe: “Let go and let God”. With enough faith and courage, do we truly believe that God has taken all of those burdens off of us? And if He has - how do we finally know? God’s ways are mysterious and trying to understand Him is like fish trying to comprehend algebra. So let me ask you this: is it easier to let go and let God, or is it easier to resolve and try to make closure with something or someone close to your heart?