Friday, February 13, 2009

I'm Out...

There are many things I like and dislike, not as though you really care, but we all have our little tweaks about stuff. I’d like to give the benefit of the doubt when it comes to people, but sometimes it’s just too much to say, “Alright alright, whatever, that’s the way you are...” and so on, and so on. I cannot tolerate catty women. (And some men for that matter.) And not that I mind a little gossip here and there, but it’s when people talk nicely in front of you and then once you leave, you are the brunt of their “juicy gossip”.  Once they’re in a huddle, and another decides to leave----they have just found a new person to “talk” about.

Here’s the vicious cycle, and I believe this is derived from an old Jewish law---correct me if I’m wrong please.

Gossip kills three people: the speaker, the listener and the person being spoken of. For one, you never want to be the speaker. The speaker gets the bad reputation for not being trusted. The poor listener is doomed with the temptation to remark what they “feel” is true and then possibly pipe in with other juicy details of what the speaker is saying... And person three is well, screwed. They can’t defend themselves. At that point, they’re already judged and that’s that.

Have you ever felt a whirlwind of negative energy either between you and a group of friends or even your own family sometimes? There’s “something” brewing, but you just don’t know what it is. And then, when you do find out about the “chatter” that’s been going on---do you call them out on it or let it go? Do you write them off or do you confront them with the knowledge you now have? A lot of people will lie their way out of it. Some will come clean and explain the situation in a lighter toned manner, but can you ever truly trust these people again?

Did you ever hear that saying, “Oh if you tell “Lydia” that, you might as well tell the world!”

I have a “group of hens” who have been spending too much time talking about me lately, hence my post. I will say this... They have some of the story correct, however their details and elaborated opinions make the story twice of what it actually is. And if any of these women are reading this right now, remember, those people you huddled up with in a circle who “talk” about Deb, are the very same people who huddled up about “you” at one point. It has happened to every one of these girls and yet, I remain quiet and let it unfold before my eyes, as they sit amongst one another laughing and having a good time, yet having that little twinge of curiosity if it was ever them discussed in the limelight of gossip.

Eat, drink & be merry while enjoying each other's company. Let them have fun playing telephone.   I’m out.


Just_because_today said...

Ben Franklin said three may keep a secret if two of them are dead....
Is there anything that can be done when you are that third person? Not a thing other than hope never to be the speaker and never breach other's trust.

Leesa said...

I don't listen to gossip anymore. If I am in a group and someone starts to gossip, I say, "Wow, if this is the way you talk about Deb, I wonder what you say about me when I am not around."

Shuts 'em right up, or I leave.

~Deb said...

Just because: Yes, there is something the third person can do: walk away.

Leesa: It's true... or, they end up talking about you the entire time without guilt on their conscience. :|

Anonymous said...

Deb: Same thing can be said about any story. There are 3 sides, each of the 2 people's story and the truth, which is usually somewhere in between.


the walking man said...

Personally Deb...I hear the talk of one group from another group then walk away from both groups. I was never one to be where I was not wanted.