Friday, January 30, 2009

Trying to Take My Own Advice

I'm not sure whether or not it's easier to give advice while not experiencing something, or give advice having gone through it already.

"Easier said than done."

"Been there done that."

"It gets easier with time."

"Time heals all wounds."

Since I know what it’s like to go through anxiety and depression, I feel that I can give advice on what works for me when I’m neck-deep in it.   I have written “how to” articles online as well as tips on my blog. I’ve told people numerous tips, such as: eat bananas, take vitamin D, get some sunlight, write it all out, drink coffee, exercise and watch a good comedy, etc. All of these are great tips because they have all worked for me in the past. The one that helped me the most was a vigorous work out at the gym and then tanning right afterwards. That was like a drug for me. It did wonders!

Now I’m in a funk. It started a couple days ago actually. I first started getting signs of fatigue. You can actually see it in my last two videos. I look tired. I look like I had it up to ‘here’.  I don’t know if anyone else noticed--but I sure did while reviewing the video clips. I compared it to another one a week prior and I was one happy, jumpy idiot. Now, I’m a complete washrag. And, the thing is, I’m not sure what exactly is bothering me. I get regular check ups from my doctor and my last blood work was last year, which was fine. Maybe I need another one. But each time I think it’s something “physically” wrong with me, it ends up being nothing more than just the winter blues.

“Oh it’s early menapawz’. Ya’ aunt got dat' at around yer’ age.” my mother says while she’s trying to stuff my face with corn muffins she had just baked, “Here, have some cawfee.” she says while she tinkers around the subject as if it were no big deal. And it really isn’t to her because she never went through menopause because she had a hysterectomy at the age of forty. Or did she? I mean, there are some that will argue with that. Some even say men go through PMS too. How? They don’t have estrogen. I don’t get it.

Anyway, putting aside the menopause solution that my mom gave, I’ve been trying to take my own advice. Here are my morning rituals: pray and meditate for at least an hour. Oh I got this all set up---huge meditation pad, candles, new age music and bibles in different translations. This part helps me out the most I have to say. It gives me a morning jolt. Then, I make strong coffee and throw the good ol’ banana in my sugar free cereal. It gets me through half the day, until around 1pm or so. Then, I start downward spiraling into a deep pit of depression. But, I’m not “sad”, I’m just tired and drawn out. (Reference to videos please!) I totally noticed it last night while reviewing my last video.  Maybe the psychic put a spell on me.

Then I thought: “Oh no! The dark energy! Could the psychic be right?” But, thank God for my faith in Jesus and the hedge of protection that I know I have against any dark energy is enough for me to know I’m safe. Where Christ resides (in my heart) there can be no darkness. I have that back again.  I strayed for a while and realized it was a dark place without God. 

I refuse to take antidepressants. Most of you know I’m against medications of any sort. I used to take them and all they did for me was make me hyper, unreasonable and then gave me withdrawals when I stopped. It also made me gain weight. My psychiatrist tells me that I shouldn’t take any medications----and he prescribes meds for so many people! I go to him to talk and enjoy the intelligent feedback I get. He's a wonderful sounding board.  This guy rocks. He’s very quiet at first but when she says one sentence, you better listen, because it’s the solution to everything. He doesn’t make you figure it all out on your own like those idiots I used to see---he puts in his two cents. I love that. And he has no problem calling me out on my b/s.

So tips...tips...tips... I need them right now because I feel like a big sap. If you can provide any of your remedies to get you through a funk, please let me know. I’ve tried everything. Also, I’m not into homeopathic remedies. I know they’re all natural, but I want to go completely natural.

Help!

(Prayers help too!)