Thursday, June 19, 2008

What Do You Choose to Believe?

The subject of guilt and depression is still fresh in my mind. I’m convinced that we only feel what we “choose” to feel. A good friend of mine who works at my gym said to me, “You’re only depressed if you choose to be depressed.” I had a hard time taking that one in, because there are many people with chemical imbalances out there that do need help because of their genetics. However, there are a lot of us walking around “choosing” to be sad, or choosing to feel guilt because of this or that. Have you ever felt the urge to listen to a sad song while being in a depressed state, in order to enhance your sadness? It’s normal. I will even venture to say that it ‘can’ be healthy at times. A good cry and letting it all out is always healthy in my opinion, but to remain in that state for a long period of time can do a lot of damage.

What about love? Do you choose to love somebody or does it just “happen”? Is it out of our hands? Do we just fall in love because there’s no other choice but to fall head over heels for somebody? What about after a breakup---especially if the person we’ve severed ties with has hurt us badly? Do we choose to stay in love with that person for an extended period of time, or are we able to grieve for a healthy period of time and then move on? Do we choose to move on or do our feelings magically disappear just like that? A lot of people, (even myself), do feel that it does take somebody else to deter your attention away from the person you’re still in love with. However, there’s a bad consequence of creating an unhealthy (rebound-ish type) of relationship with the new person. This new person may get hurt, realizing that there are underlying feelings for your ex. It can be a vicious cycle and an ongoing pattern. (A bad stigma for the lesbian community!) Had to throw some humor in there somewhere.

Maybe somebody can relate to my struggle. I have an extremely hard time getting over people that I’ve once had an intense and intimate relationship with. I can easily cry over somebody I dated over 15 years ago. I can still feel the pain. Is it my chemical make up or is it a choice to still harbor feelings for old flames, even if I were to never intend on taking action to start a relationship with them ever again? I guess if we keep picking at a wound, it’ll never fade out as a scar. Even if I haven’t thought about the person for a few years, I can still think about it for a moment and actually shed a tear for that particular past pain. Are we ever completely healed from an emotional wound? And if it’s a recent emotional wound, do we try and make it better by going back to the source to do it all over again?

What do you choose to believe?
"I can do everything with the help of Christ who gives me the strength I need." ~Philippians 4:13