Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Challenging Someone In Love

People can manipulate their ways of criticizing someone. It’s simple - it’s like false advertising. People fall for it all the time thinking that it’s sincere or that it's the truth. In reality, it’s basically a scam. With the right stream of words and steady consistency of warmth, as if they care, they will judge you according to what they think “their God” wants. (Even if you pray to the same God.) If you’re smart enough, you can basically brainwash a person into thinking the way you want them to. If the person is weak enough, they’ll fall for it.

Where's Deb going with this?

Okay, well take for instance a person who says to a gay man or lesbian, “Well, I will never judge you, but I will challenge you in love.” Is this the ‘safe way’ of criticizing someone? And I know that there are some Christians and/or other religions, that will challenge you in regards to what the religion teaches, however, it’s disrespecting one’s beliefs about a certain religion that they practice and what they believe to be right or wrong. To me, there is no love without acceptance. To “challenge someone out of love” means that you don’t accept the way they live their life, even if the person who is being challenged feels it’s okay. It doesn’t mean you have to live the way we do, it just simply means to not ‘challenge us in love’.

In this Scripture found in Romans 14:1-4, it says this:

"Accept Christians who are weak in faith, and don’t argue with them about what they think is right or wrong. For instance, one person believes it is all right to eat anything. But another believer who has a sensitive conscience will eat only vegetables. Those who think it is all right to eat anything must not look down on those who won’t. And those who won’t eat certain foods must not condemn those who do, for God has accepted them. Who are you to condemn God’s servants? They are responsible to the Lord, so let him tell them whether they are right or wrong. The Lord’s power will help them do as they should."

When I used to attend church on a regular basis, it left a very bad taste in my mouth. The people were so nice and so warm, until they found out about ‘your sin’. “Oh I’ll pray for you.” And most of the time, I am grateful when someone says that to me. The difference is, when someone says it as though I’m lost and confused, I get offended. Pray for me, but don’t pity me or think I don’t have a personal relationship with God. It sounds so hypocritical for these people to do these things. The ironic part about this was, the people who said this to me were the ones who were divorced or committing adultery, or having premarital sex, thinking that their sin was better than mine. They would be more likely to be saved.

If we can all picture ourselves locked up in this huge glass jar, we can choose to do a few things…we can accept one another and make peace, ignore one another or fight till the bitter end. We’re going to sit there and compare our lives to each individual and who lives a better ‘wholesome’ life. We want to come out looking prestigious to God. We don’t want to look like the dirty, filthy sinner that we all are. But the truth is, no beautiful garment or gorgeous hair style is going to hide our sins. We all sin – we’re human. But to judge one from another is ridiculous and pointless. We’re all going to the same place, so why fight? Let’s enjoy our time in this huge glass jar as we wait for our creator to pour us out ‘in love’.

When I was seventeen years old, dating this guy who my parents absolutely loved, we came into a weird situation. First of all, my boyfriend was Pakistani. He was such a great person with a huge heart. Everyone immediately liked him. He was well dressed, well groomed and always presented himself nicely. He was twenty-five, but looked more my age because he was smaller built and had such a baby face. His English was good and his ability to make it here in the U.S. was amazing! He owned several businesses around the area and made a life for himself.

One day, while my parents and their friends were having a barbeque outside, my boyfriend and I walked over to join them. We were all talking and getting along. When we left, my mother told me what had happened. Her friend said, “You’re going to let your daughter date someone like him?” My mother didn’t know what she meant by this.

“Well what do you mean? He’s so nice and he's so good for her.”
“But look at him! He’s middle-eastern and foreign! Don’t you think this looks bad for you and your family? And the way he dresses – he looks as though he’s selling drugs!” My mom’s friend said.
“He dresses that way because he can afford to. He owns three businesses and does well for himself. What about your sons? They all don’t have jobs, they’re over eighteen and always dressed in ripped jeans and concert t-shirts. Their hair is down to their waist and you can’t tell if they’re a man or woman from behind!”

It turned out to be a vicious judgmental battle of who’s ‘son’ was better based upon prejudices. (Even though my boyfriend wasn’t my parents’ son, they loved him the same.) The woman judged my boyfriend based upon stereotype, skin color and appearance, however thought her sons were more presentable just because they were white.

The funny part about this whole thing was that my boyfriend got along with her sons. They all liked one another. They didn’t see my boyfriend’s nationality or religion - they saw him as ‘this cool guy’ who was friendly towards them. My boyfriend saw the two sons as a couple of cool guys who got along with him as well. They were always laughing whenever they sat out in the driveway talking about cars and ‘manly stuff’ that I couldn’t relate to. I thought it was great. I’m surprised their mother had that type of mindset though. My mother’s words towards the two sons were out of defending my boyfriend. But, all in all, it was all unnecessary. They were both out of line in my opinion.

It’s sad to think that there are people who are so caught up in the judgments of not only the gay and lesbian community, but the judgment calls upon those of a different race. As if being a different race was a sin! I've never understood it, however, I grew up around it a lot. My parents were old fashioned and grew up in the Italian part of Brooklyn. I basically grew up with the mindset that I should only befriend those who were like me. White. But, as I went to school, I realized that there are so many people with different backgrounds and nationalities who I grew to like. Why can’t I hang out with them? Why can’t my friend come over? Why am I getting in trouble because the kids that rode their bikes with me in my neighborhood had names that ended in the letter ‘z’?

I remember I had a birthday party and all my friends were coming over. I was turning fifteen. Kids were mingling and eating pizza, drinking soda having a good time socializing. My friend Tom came over, because I invited him. Tom was a tall black kid who was apart of the football team. He was soft-spoken, well mannered and just had this great personality. Even though he was only around seventeen at the time, he was an old soul – the sweetest guy ever! He wasn’t into drugs or alcohol – he was all about sports and health.

“Come here!” I heard from the crack of the door. My mother wanted to know who the ‘black man’ was that walked inside our home.
“He’s a kid that we all go to school with.”
”I want him out!”
“What?” I replied, surprised that my mother is making me kick someone out for no reason.
“Get him out of here!” I was shocked. What am I going to do? Oh, Tom, please leave because this is only a ‘white party’. No! I refused to do anything about it and went on socializing with my friends.

Of course I got in trouble after everyone had left the party. The following weekend I invited Tom over. Yes, I was very very brave. I forced my mother to talk to him. I knew that if my mother were to get to know him, instead of just basing his entire being on his skin color, that she would just love him.

And she did.

All I heard was, “What a sweet kid! He’s soooo smart and intelligent for his age!” etc…etc…etc.

Because of that one day that I forced my mother to do this, her entire outlook on people is based from within – not from appearance. Her old ways of thinking were something of the past. It no longer applied to her anymore. My parents grew up thinking blacks were bad, that Spanish people were trouble and “whites” need to be with their own. There was never a time my mother spoke about gays and lesbians though. Interesting, huh? But, the day I came out to her, she did ask me to see a psychiatrist about it. (I needed a shrink for much different things than that!) I told her no, and that just like with any prejudice she had, she needed to either accept me or disown me. I’m glad she accepted me. I knew where her negative feelings stemmed from.

My entire long-winded post is based upon what we grow up learning. If we grow up learning that this is bad, or that’s bad, then we’re most likely to remain in that frame of mind. Parents teach their kids at a young age that being gay or being a lesbian is something of a perverted nature. They never mention anything about loving unions between same sex couples. It’s all about ‘sexual perversion’ to them. It’s a sin!

So what happens? Everyone puts in their mind that being gay is a sin – that it’s wrong and you don’t want to associate yourselves with those types of people. People twist and manipulate the scriptures in the bible in order to confirm their judgment calls. But if you read the scriptures carefully, it speaks of the promiscuous nature of people. The bible says nothing about the union of two people of the same sex. There are tons of scriptures upon sexual promiscuity within the heterosexual world too. Premarital sex, divorcees remarrying while the ex is still alive, looking at someone in lust, incest and infidelity. All of us have at least done one of these ‘sins’. Looking at someone in lust – I think that’s a given. We’ve all looked at someone and said, “Oooh, look at him/her!” Or thought about sex while looking at a particular person of interest. It’s called being human.

So, if you’re “human” and yet you live the absolute perfect life – please – challenge me “in love”.


Bossy said...

its sad..but this is all very true..

we are all judgemetal to some degree..I culd care less about who u sleep with or what color your skin is..

mine is a differnt type..like if your overweight u must be lazy, if u go to the sotre dressed like a slob u must be on welfare..

its bad, i know..

its funny cuz i sorta wrote about the same thing today, only in differnt text....just about how I do judge books by their cover, and i wish i didnt..

Bossy said...

its sad..but this is all very true..

we are all judgemetal to some degree..I culd care less about who u sleep with or what color your skin is..

mine is a differnt type..like if your overweight u must be lazy, if u go to the sotre dressed like a slob u must be on welfare..

its bad, i know..

its funny cuz i sorta wrote about the same thing today, only in differnt text....just about how I do judge books by their cover, and i wish i didnt..

Bossy said...

opps, sorry.my bad

~Deb said...

Exactly Bossy! It goes for anyone who is discriminated against for any reason!

Wesley Matthews said...

The end of Romans 14:4 really says it all, we are all responsible to the Master.

Romans 3:23 says “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.” (KJV)

Yes, the church is full of sinners. The key is repentance of their sins. The homosexual community denies their sinning. You claim the Bible doesn’t mention homosexual sins. In fact it does! Remember the towns of Sodom and Gomorrah?

I do take the Romans 14 approach and don’t argue with people about the Bible, in fact it isn’t my argument. I didn’t write it. I let the Bible speak for itself. I simply present the information to the person and help them understand. If that person has ears to hear, then they will understand. If God has not opened their heart then they will continue in their unrepentant lifestyle and one day be held accountable for their actions.

You can read more about it from this guy:

Musings of a Maverick

Once in a while I have something good to say too:

Thinking at Doe Valley

~Deb said...

Wesley: The forms in which they speak of homosexuality in the bible is in the terms of the promiscuous state. The ‘abomination of homosexuality’ was in Leviticus. No longer applies to Christians today – plus that’s the Old Testament. Then many other everyday things would be an abomination like eating ostrich or shellfish.

Jesus has paid the full price for our sins. The only sin that I’m committing is premarital sex – and the only reason I’m committing it is due to the state (people) not allowing us to marry.

Margie said...

I'm just heading off to work, and have no time to read this post right now...will come back later!

Sending hugs and good thoughts to you!
Hope your day will be great!

kathi said...

I was reading the other day in Exodus, about the laws of slavery and it made me cry...broke my heart. There are a lot of things I don't understand in the old testament, a lot in the new testament, but not as many. :)

I'm not sure of what my point is here,if I had one it's gone now. Oh yeah, Exodus...re: the selling of your daughter into slavery, or allowing a servant freedom, but their wife and children were to remain the property of the 'master'. Thank God for Christ, for the new testament and that the we are not living by the old law...which would make Christs sacrifice for nothing.

But hey, girl, I'll challenge you if you want...up for scrabble?

~Deb said...

Margie: I hope you're doing great! Thank for stopping by and enjoy your day... :)

Kath: I will definitely challenge you to a game of scrabble. They say I cheat, but is that a sin? I sometimes turn over the letter and pretend it's one of the 'blank ones'... so beware, I may deceive you! HEATHEN I am! (ha) But, you are right, there are so many things in the Old Testament that no longer apply. But, the OT is good for learning about our past and how the NT has transformed into being apart of the bible. The thing I don't understand is how people manipulate the scriptures in order to belittle or bash others. It's uncalled for. But, with a grain of salt, I'd like to challenge them as well.

Anonymous said...

Generally speaking it is a lot harder to know what a married couple are doing than a gay couple. Gays are increasingly offensive in their in your face attitude, and blatant in their lifestyle. If someone were to brag about how much he steps out on his wife, and wear pins that declare how great her adultery is, maybe there would be an easier comparison. Being gay and continuing the lifestyle is much worse of a sin than adultery. It's an abomination to God. He hates homos and this upsets you greatly! It should!

Matt-Man said...

Very well-written Deb. I was lucky enough to watch some of my mom's prejudices disappear over time. Dad was always free of those feelings. Johnny Cash put it quite simply and succinctly: "In life there are two things. You can either love or hate. I choose love." Of course Pastor Rod Parsley might feel otherwise, and you can see how on my latetst post. Cheers!!

Hey anonymous are you Rod Parsley!?

Enemy of the Republic said...


Thank you for this. As a Christian I have learned to discern the "I will pray for you" as either judgment or genuine concern. That is why I won't say it unless I fully intend on praying for that person, knowing that I too am a sinner and cleansed by the blood. And you know that I believe that homosexuality in itself is NOT a sin, nor has the Bible convinced me of it. For some of your readers, I guess we will just agree to disagree or maybe they can pray for me too. Bless you, girl!

Zanne said...

You preach it girlfriend! And may I add a hearty AMEN!

Nancy said...

Holy cow. Again, I have acid in my stomach from all of this. I'm not sure why some people think their sins are better than others. Color me confused. Sin is sin. I think you said once that we need to wake up and realize we are all in this together...I will never forget that when I feel prejudice creeping up on me created out of fear.

As for the sins you listed, I have probably hit most, if not all, of them multiple times. I have profound regret for them...but I will never throw stones while I live in this glass house.

grace said...

I like this post very much. I rarely comment here...just because it seems like someone else has usually expressed my thoughts before I get a chance..but...I did "facetiously" write in a post on my blog a long while back something to the effect of...hey, why don't the ultra-conservatives start on gay folks with some of the "lesser" sins and work their way UP??? Surely to goodness that's not the only thing they do that's "wrong". You may not find that one bit funny...maybe you had to be there! ha! Anyway...just giving you some unconditional love here....and it's just a fact, not a challenge!


Margie said...

And I say Amen to this too Deb!
I believe that people that are judgemental and show hate towards others feel their own inferiority!

Catch said...

Its no wonder this world is in the shape its in....everybody judging everybody, racism, drugs, child abuse, incest...where is the love? Why cant we all just be loving people who live our own lives and not worry about what someone else is doing. We will all stand before God and answer for our own sins. Not a one of us is without sin...

Just today my daughter Ash and I were riding home from work and she was talking about her boyfriends Mother...who was watching her little boy today while we worked. Ash said "they are all excited about her daughters baby's baptism"...( we dont baptize till they are older and hopefully understand whats its about). Ash said to the Mother " we dont baptize till they are older"...the Mother said " we baptize when they are babies so they will go to heaven if anything should happen".....I just started laughing.....I said...."Do you really think our God would turn a baby or child away from heaven just b/c he or she is not baptized?" But again, this is just like one of the things you are talking about. If you dont know in your heart that God loves all children regardless of race, creed or color....how well do you know him?

Take 2 said...


Great blog again.... I am afraid perhaps that I am the one you are talking about.
If I am I apogogize because the way you are feeling about my email to you is not what I was trying to say at all.

I want you to know that I have some family members who are in fact gay and I love them dearly. I have friends that are gay and I love them dearly.

I am a heterosexual mother of three who is lucky enough to be married twice around to an amazing man now second time around. Lord knows I have made my share of mistakes in this ole world.

First marriage sucked... he had an affair.

May I dare say that people judged him just as harshly as you are feeling people judging you now. I always reminded them that I was not perfect(nor am I now) and that it takes 2 to make a marriage work. People just love to judge others when they make different choices then they make when it comes to Sin.

Gossip, overeating, cheating, lieing, judging, etc etc are all considered sin. We are unable of living one minute on this earth without any of us sinning. I know that I am no exception. Often my big mouth gets me in trouble or I have to clarify my thoughts to others....

So again... whenever I tell folks I will hold them accountable in love my intentions simply are that I will agree to disagree with you but I will never force my thoughts or beliefs on you.

Your relationship with God is your relationship with God not mine and truly I am not the Holy Spirit and I never want to sit here and tell you that you are wrong or thatyou should change your ways.

God created you, He knows how He made you. He is big enough and strong enough and capable enough to talk to each of us intimately! He sure does not need me doing it for Him, in fact I will mess it up if I even try.

That is why I am sickened and saddened how Christians keep coming on your blog throwing up bible verses or saying their piece thinking that they can manipulate you or guilt you or whatever and you will see the light and change. It truly is so crazy to me that these people do that.

I feel it is crazy since they are complete stangers to you, as I am and why in the world would you place any merit on their point of view. I know I sure wouldn't.

People..... why point the finger at Deb when God is big enough to talk to her. Leave her alone. If someone threw verse at you on your blog would you heed the fact that you are judging and not loving others as Jesus did. Did Jesus not go and hang out with the prostitutes... did the Pharisees not judge him. When we judge Deb and her partner we are nothing more than a Pharisee ourselves.

Sorry to go off like that on your blog Deb but I am upset for you.

So anyways for whatever it is worth I want you to know that I love you and that I am not judging you and the choices you make for your own life. Only God can judge each of us. (me included, again I say I am not perfect)

Lets face it, we live in a sinful world and I sin as much as anyone. So here it is... I sinned by not making myself clear. If it was me that misrepresented myself again I want you to know that I am truly sorry.

That is why I hate email.... I hate blogging at times too. Having a conversation with someone face to face is always so much better. Besides it is so much more fun to hang out, drink a glass of wine together and laugh your butt off.

Blessings to you.


Video X said...

For anyone to tell you that they will not judge you, but will challenge you...that is judgemental...and condescending.

Anyone who tells you they will pray for you in the tone you are speaking of, is judgemental and condescending...so of course it would be offensive.

Same as when someone tells me, "I'm sorry you feel that way." WHAT! I'm NOT sorry for how I feel....that's usually my response.

Same as anyone who says they support someone, but not in certain cases of course (sarcasm). It's all nonsense.

Either people are not judging or they are...it's egotistical people who have to have all the exceptions.

Ignore the nonsense! Easier said than done...I am sure of that. I do my best to rid myself of people who are mean and condscending...for no other reason other than it just makes me feel bad. I wish you could, but you have such a gang of whackos against you! That's a lot of people-ridding!

magiceye said...


~Deb said...

Anonymous: I do agree that there are some homosexual couples who do put their sexuality in your face – but you can’t say that for all of them. I don’t brag that I’m gay, however I can talk about my relationship with my partner the way any wife or husband would talk about their spouse. Are they bragging? Should we hide and just put our heads in the sand? I won’t do that, and neither should anyone else – gay or straight! Being gay is worse than adultery? Interesting. “A sin is a sin” no longer applies? So we pick and choose which one is worse? I can tolerate God hates the sin, but God does not hate his children who sin. God doesn’t hate. I feel bad that you believe this – but that’s your choice. And guess who gave that to us?

Matt-man: Well, most people I believe are unhappy with their own lives, so they want to pin-point the downfalls of others, which is sad.

Enemy of the republic: I totally agree with you that homosexuality between two people who love one another is not a sin. They confuse the promiscuity that’s written in the bible vs. the love and unions that are created by a monogamous gay couple. Thanks Enemy!

Zanne: Thanks for the support Zanne!

Nancy: Exactly how I feel. We’re all in this together – so we might as well enjoy our time in the small ‘glass jar’ we all share.

Grace: You’re right! It’s just as though they don’t look beyond the “sin” (as they call it) of homosexuality, and miss the point that they may be dealing with liars, thieves, and gossipers. Just because we’re gay doesn’t mean we don’t do all of the other things above! Thanks Grace – I appreciate your input!

Margie: You make a great point with that. I always wondered about the hidden agenda or motive behind ‘fixing gays’.

Catch: I don’t know why it’s like that – I mean, even is Ireland, they’ve been fighting over religion for years – the Protestants and Christians, right? They’re religion is better than the other or even with anyone all over the world, Muslim against Christians – it’s a big holy war and will always be. People “die” for their Gods and put other people’s lives in danger. It’s scary. As far as the baptism, my sister never got her child baptized because she feels that her relationship with God is blessed, therefore making her daughter blessed as well. And that’s her beliefs and I stand by her on that one. It was pretty funny when my mother took a bottle of holy water and poured it over my niece’s head “just in case” though! Gotta love those old fashioned Catholics! It was cute!

Take 2: Your words provoked thoughts. But you’re totally right with your way of thinking – gossiping, overeating, cheating, lying, judging, stealing, having impure thoughts and saying God’s name in vain. We all fall short and it’s all about faith and love towards God – it’s about our love for others and how we show it. People can throw scripture after scripture at me regarding homosexuality, but God has shown me what it all means – they speak of the promiscuous nature of it all. In Leviticus – that just doesn’t apply to us. If it did, we’d be in big trouble. We’d still believe and utilize slavery, eating shellfish would be an abomination, sitting next to a woman while she menstruated would make us dirty. They take the words out of the bible and spit them at me, or anyone else, but they don’t go beyond that one paragraph or what the story was about. I’m not upset that people have their own views at all – I think if that’s the way you think, then so be it. Just like in the Romans passage I typed out in this post – who’s to judge what’s ‘right for you’? I respect your beliefs and thank you for sharing them with me! Thanks for stopping by, Dana.

Video: I got that a lot at church, and the whole, “I’ll pray for you,” “God loves the sinner but not the sin.” And meanwhile, I didn’t consider loving my partner to be a sin. People have a certain mindset that rejects any sort of view beyond their values and beliefs and realizing that people have different lives and ways of living. They have different relationships with God and Christians constantly keep judging one another over and over and over again. It’s one of the main reasons why I dwindled my visits to the church. I focused on God – but it’s hard when people keep tormenting you to brainwash you into their beliefs.

Magiceye: Thanks for stopping by!

Leesa said...

~deb, what makes me sad about all of this is that you keep talking about being a lesbian as a sin. And all I can see in my mind's eye is God craddling you in His arms, loving you.

I was going to write about something similar to this soon. This darned contest I have going has limited my time to do what I want to do on blogger. I am just glad being stupid is not a sin!

And I love when I see people grow in front of my eyes.

~Deb said...

Leesa: I totally agree with you. I do not think being gay or being a lesbian is a sin. I think a union between two people who love one another is blessed by God. But promiscuity in itself, is what makes the sin. Having sex with the same gender just because we're bored with the opposite sex is what happened during the Roman days. So, no - I don't think homosexuality is a sin. I refer to other "Christians" telling me that my life with my partner is a sin. Sorry for the confusion! Thank you so much for saying that God's craddling me in His arms. I believe that, and I believe that for you and everyone else who loves God.

jali said...

Outstanding post.

This old as hell hetero black chick sincerely LOVES your spirit Deb! (I only mention sexual orientation and color because...well, because I can, dammit!) (that was a corny joke PC team)

I've never understood people who can only empathize with or love others who are just like them. There's so much more out there.

Jaded said...

I especially hate it when "Christians" feel it necesary to use the Bible as a weapon against someone in an effort to prove that they are "right." (Like several do here when they comment to you) There are so many translations and versions of the Bible that not even the ones you find from church to church use the same words in particular passages. I don't know how we can take the Bible as a word-for-word literal rule book when there are so many discrepancies even among church congregations. The Word of God should heal, not damage and divide.

It's not our job to judge anyone. If we, ourselves, believe something to be against our religious beliefs, then we should refrain from doing whatever that is. We SHOULD pray for others, but only because it's a nice thing to do. We should never offer prayer as a back-handed means of saying that "I'm right and you're wrong so I'll pray that you figure that out."

So many Christians are filled with self-righteous indignation that others might not agree with them. They do nothing but push people away from God. We should grant others the unconditional love that Jesus shows us, and bring people together in His name. I don't care how "right" someone might be...in the end it won't be enough to have pleased God if in the process of being right you drove souls away from Him.

Jaded said...


Rosie's blog is found at www.rosie.com

I find her to be obnoxious and abrasive. She also appears to think that unless you agree with her, you're a blithering idiot.

Pittchick said...

Religion has had me so cinfused lately. I haven't gone to church in ages. I'm not sure what's worse, not going at all, or going and only picking and choosing what I want to believe in.
Oh well, that's a topic for another day.

Miranda said...

Very well put Deb....what can I say? Im having a day, where I think people just suck in general. Better to stick with your pets they never judge...and love you unconditionally.

Dan said...

Having the words 'challenge' and 'love' in the same sentence is itself unnerving.

Yikes. Why can't we all just get along? I love you, Deb. And I love Tim. And I love your mom who insisted that he leave.

Humans seem to both crave separation, by continually focusing on differences and distancing ourselves because of them, and also crave hugs and being together.

What enigmas we are!

Lynn said...

Hi, Deb. I see that some folks just can't let up, can't understand. I don't even know what to say about them anymore... Oh, gotta go. Dinner's ready -- shellfish tonight!

mack said...

i'm of the 'live and let live' mentality. I'm african... as in RAISED in africa. There are thousands of cultures in the whole, and hundreds of tongues, and other variants, and I'm uncomfortable with 90 percent of the practices and thought processes. We all have preferences, homos and heteros alike.

I dont go into arguments with anyone about what be good,and what be evil. It's all about what you think. There are dangers in everything; so if good and evil are determined by the relative amounts of dangers and pros, one runs into a logical falacy.

The brain functions easier with stereotypes, and many hate to think. So if people can go to church to pay some man in a suit to think for them, they will... and infact they do.

Miss 1999 said...

*Don't feed the trolls Christy. Don't feed the trolls.*

Ok, I think I'm calmed down enough from the troll's post above to actually post.

This was a WONDERFUL post. So, very, very true. We grow up accepting or believing what our parents teach us in terms of people (race, sexuality, ect.)

I was so fortunate to grow up in a family where we didn't see color. We judged people by they way they treated us, others-- by their merits, not what color they were, or who they slept with.

You know, I pray for you daily, not because you're a lesbian, or I think God needs to change you-- but because I know you suffer from depression and anxiety just like I do. I can't stand to suffer, and I can't stand for my friends to suffer, either.

Don't feel bad about those who are praying for you because you're a lesbian. Some of my family is praying for me because I'm not a Christian. You know, Episcopalian's aren't Christians *LOL* (Sad, but true, this is what they really think).

Anyway, keep on, keepin' on! *hugs and love*

The Absent Minded Landlord said...

There are a lot of ignorant people out there, and their ignorance stems from fear not love.

The Rev. Dr. Kate said...

Another great post, Deb. I do pray for you - that you will be comforted and upheld as you struggle with the depression, etc. I always pray that God will continue bless you and Maddie and that your love for each other and for God will grow stronger.And I also pray that you will be delivered from the evil that ignorant folks send your way.
As for all the rest, we all have our "sins" of choice (the problem with our own sin is that it is never "new" its always the same thing over and over), places where we fall short. The world would be a much healthier place if we all focused on the only sin we can change, the one WE commit. Each of us needs to pray for the grace to overcome our own "stuck" places and leave it to God to sort out other people's!

Natalia said...

Humanity can suck!


Enemy of the Republic said...

Wow oh wow. I just read anonymous's comment; usually such folk don't deserve the time of day, but I have a question for you, Mr. or Ms: How do you know what God HATES? The Bible isn't even clear on whether he hates sin or simply cannot look upon it because as the being of ultimate goodness, he cannot be tainted. He certainly mourns the effects of sin; that was one reason Jesus wept when Lazurus died, not only because he missed his friend, but it became so real to him that sin == death and he as our Savior had to defeat it. Hating death and the rule of the devil was far more important to Jesus because his purpose was to liberate us from sin. I can already see the holes you will poke in this argument, but the God I pray to and believe in has better things to worry about than hating homosexuals. I believe that is a human construct. God found a way to defeat sin and he loves every sinner, whether we confess or not. It is arrogant of us as the CREATED to think that we know the mind of the CREATOR! And one more thing--sexuality is orientated, not chosen. It isn't like going into an adult bookstore or checking porn on the net. I get the feeling that Christians of your mindset see gays as one and the same. That is NOT the case. We worship a God of love. If hate is your motto, there are idols shaped as gods who will gladly accept your beliefs.

Thanks Deb, for allowing me to say this. I just couldn't let that one go by.