Saturday, October 21, 2006

Weak...but Strong in Faith

There are definitely stereotypes to being a Christian, as well as stereotypes for being a homosexual. First of all, for the ‘typical Christian church-going individual’, you have this image of a married woman or man, who’s living the American dream. A nice big house with a white picket fence, a few kids and probably a dog and a cat. It’s a nice image actually. Is it perfect for everyone? No. Each person sets their goals and dreams differently to what they truly want out of life. Some don’t reach their goal, and some do. The stereotypes for the homosexual are simple. They seem to set the stage for promiscuity. This goes for all homosexuals, in the ‘extreme Christian’s’ view. We’re all different. Even heterosexuals can be promiscuous, as well as Church goers. Relationships and a loving union are much different than a person being promiscuous.

The other day, I was going through a bout of depression. I thought, “So many people think I’m weak in faith, because I love someone of the same gender.” It’s the total opposite though. My faith is so strong, that it’s practically knowledge. My personal relationship with God is like no other relationship I have ever had with a human being. My spiritual experiences have proven to me time and time again that God is real, and that God loves me, He loves you, and He even loves those who don’t know Him.

As I was praying, I asked for forgiveness for my sins, and prayed to God for strength and courage to get my message across and have it be heard by those who truly need it. I asked that God would give me the words to type out—that it wouldn’t be my own; yet my own experiences.

In a post called, “Good & Bad Spirits”, I discussed my love for alcohol, and how I grew up around it. I explained how it helped relieve my anxiety- and yes, I do know that it’s a problem. For me? It’s really not a problem, as long as it’s in moderation.

I prayed about it, and said, “I’m weak, but I’m strong in faith.”

God answered me.

“What’s better—to be weak in faith and strong minded with tons of willpower?”

I just sat that thinking how incredible that message was. Then I flipped open the bible, and it literally *fell* on this passage:

“My gracious favor is all you need. My power works best in your weakness. So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may work through me. Since I know it is all for Christ’s good, I am quite content with my weaknesses and with insults, hardships, persecutions and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” ~2 Corinthians 12:9

So by my life, being the “Christian lesbian alcoholic”, I know that my faith is the most important thing.

“I am quite content with my weaknesses {alcohol} and with insults {people who judge and ridicule me for being a gay Christian as well as an alcoholic} hardships {challenges in life} persecutions {being harassed for being a Christian as well as a lesbian} and calamities." {any distress that occurs in my life}

Do people really want me to pretend I’m somebody else just because I claim Jesus as my Savior? I’m sure most of you would want me to tell you absolutely everything about me. You don’t want to hear preaching from someone who bible thumps and lectures you about your sins, yet they have their own sins to contend with, do you? For me, I would want to hear from someone who has been through the ringer, or who still struggles with being ‘perfect’—even though that’s not possible. You want to hear about someone with strong faith, yet the ability to relate to everyone as a ‘weak human being’ as we all are, or admit that we are. We’re all in this together, right? It's almost like an AA director holding a meeting, yet he/she has never touched a drop of alcohol before, and cannot relate to the people who she's trying to help.

God led me to a proverb that was written in a book that my friend Lisa got for me as a gift. It’s called, “Proverbs for Life for You”.

The proverb that stood out at me while I was praying was this one:

“Don’t hesitate to be bold in your convictions, especially when it comes to your faith. The only way some people will ever know the truth about God is to hear it from you, from someone who knows him personally. Take every opportunity to share your beliefs, and look to God for the courage to speak boldly. Ask him for the right words and the ability to speak them kindly and effectively. You can be sure he will do his part as you do yours.”

This is the whole reason why I started this blog—to share my beliefs with you, as a weak Christian strong in faith. I share explicit and funny stories about my life with you, so that you’ll see how imperfect I am. I share my beliefs of God with you, and how He helps me everyday. I want to reach out to those who feel too much guilt and shame to come to God, because of their sinful nature. The guilt and shame is not of God. The evil one wants you to think it’s from God…but it’s not. God encourages and edifies your spirit with love and hope…not guilt and shame. People will convict you and judge you left and right, but that’s God’s job. God didn’t hire mere humans to sit around and point out everyone’s sins. When people point fingers and make you feel bad for what you are, and what you did, and what you do—it’s usually a sign of their insecurity and uneasiness with their own life.

So when someone starts pointing the finger at you, remember they have three more pointing right back at them. Live for God, not for people.