Friday, August 25, 2006

300th Post Dedicated to OCD

It was bound to happen one day. I knew it was coming, I just didn’t realize when. It all happened when I touched the shopping cart handle. I usually have my Purell hand sanitizer with me at all times, but the other day I failed stock up on more—I ran out.

As I grabbed the cart and headed down the produce section, I was fully aware of my hands being wrapped around the orange plastic handle—which everyone and their mother probably touched. I just thought, “I’ll just dowse myself in Purell and that’s that!”

Amy came along with me on this shopping venture, because I get tunnel vision when I walk through a huge grocery store. In case I passed out, Amy would run out of there and leave me for dead. Anyway, while we were walking down the aisle, we saw a little kid sitting in the seat of the shopping cart as his mother pushed him around. He was leaning over his seat licking the handle. Great. My grip on my own handle gets less and less at this point. I’d look like a total freak if I were to use my tissues that I had handy in my purse. I remained strong and went on with my shopping trying to ignore the fact that some kid may have been slobbering on my own shopping cart handle driving my OCD insane.

We headed over to the deli section. I wanted to pick up some goodies for the evening since we were having dinner at my house that night. When I looked up to see the clerk slicing the deli meats, I noticed she was handling the cold cuts with her bare hands—no plastic gloves. Deb leaves. Deb drags Amy along with her. End of story.

Moving on.

Maybe a few steaks thrown on the barbeque would work. I headed down the meat section to pick up a few porterhouses. Behind the slew of meats sitting in the refrigerated glass counters, you can see the butcher up above in the window working. This is convenient when you want something cut a certain way or if you want to ask him about a certain meat that’s not available. I saw him catch my eye. I couldn’t stop staring at him, because he looked like Leatherface from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. His white lab coat was full of blood and pieces of meat were dangling off him. He had a grim look to him—so I just didn’t bother with purchasing any of his fine foods. I know he’s cutting up meat all day, but change your coat once in a while since you’re right in the window being watched by customers.

Moving on.

Who doesn’t like hot wings? I picked up some frozen Tyson wings and picked out organic vegetables and lettuce for a fresh garden salad. My options were getting smaller and smaller. I figured some chicken, potatoes and a nice salad along with some good wine should do the trick. It was settled.

We’re on the grocery line checking out. There were two people ahead of us with hardly anything. This is great—this means we’ll be out of there in no time.

Wrong.

The checkout girl was apparently new. Her boss kept helping her with each item she tried to slide through the price check machine. It looked like it wasn’t working…until her manager slid it through and it blipped up a price right away. The boss leaves. The girl does another slide across the table with another item. Nothing. She slides it again. Nothing. Deb feels panic rise up within her. The girl tries to wave down her boss. Obviously, her boss wasn’t looking in her general direction.

“You might want to call him over hon.” The lady said, as she waited patiently for her items to be rung up.

“Paul!...Paul!” The girl screams out. Paul comes over, and the entire line that now has approximately fifteen people waiting starts clapping as if they had just seen a Broadway show. They stood around the cash register trying to figure something out—God knows what. The older lady who was getting rung up was beginning to get more and more frustrated. Her long red acrylic nails were tapping on the counter impatiently. Her wedding ring looked like a chandelier—obviously someone out there in the world is broke…and it wasn’t her. The cashier rings her up and has her out of there.

As we’re walking out to the car, the older lady approaches us to tell us how she got ripped off $2.00. She wasn’t a happy camper and the car that she was driving did not reflect what was sitting on that ring finger of hers. She was driving the smallest little economy car ever! I don’t know how she sat in that little thing comfortably—being that she was a larger dame.

After Amy and I hit a liquor store and headed back to my house, we had a great time finishing off a few bottles of wine and enjoying our wings. Not only was I hungover the yesterday morning, but I ended up with a cold. Always remember to keep a bottle of Purell with you whenever you go grocery shopping. And they say it’s all in my head…

44 comments:

J R Estelle said...

I really don't get it when parents allow their kids to slobber on the handle of the cart. Then again, I don't get the "grocery store feet" syndrome that I've seen in the South. Barefeet in the grocery store, YUMMY.

I just drink enough alcohol to sanitize myself from the inside out, well, not all the time.

samuru999 said...

What a story!
OMG!
What a nightmare it was at that grocery store!
But, you had me laughing!
Pretty gross though!
Yuck!
Have a nice weekend!

samuru999 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
TrappedInColorado said...

Ok, Deb. I am about to reveal to you the solution to your OCD shopping distress. Are you ready? Hmmm.. maybe I should make you pay for this. Nah! You're cool. Ok. Here is your solution. Two (2) words. PERSONAL SHOPPER!

Just give them your list and an hour later - BAM - there is your stuff. All the while you are sitting home eating chocolate and watching soap operas.

You're welcome.

Peace

The Rev. Dr. Kate said...

Oh Deb - this cracked me up. As the mother of two boys, germs are my life. My older son's room is a hazerdous waste site!!!!I may never eat again after reading your post. And I second trappedincolorado - I just email my list to the store and tell them when I want it delivered. They charge my debit card and life is good!

Laura Elizabeth said...

In this neck of the woods, you could use PeaPod from Stop&Shop Deb.

Number One reason for NEVER living down south:

"Then again, I don't get the "grocery store feet" syndrome that I've seen in the South. Barefeet in the grocery store, YUMMY. "

That just grossed me out for EVER! Eeeewww. What's worse is I have to go grocery shopping tonight.

~Deb said...

J R Estelle: I always wondered why parents would let their children slime up the carts---even for the kid’s sake of getting sick! Oh, I think the alcohol I drank that night killed most of the germs.

Samuru: It’s always a dilemma walking through the grocery store with my many manias. Enjoy your weekend too!

Trapped: YOU are a genius my friend! I will ask my assistant to be my personal shopper…aka Amy (Say It Hot) … I hope she agrees to the terms and conditions of my employment opportunity.

Rev. Dr. Kate: Well, I don’t want to give anybody else OCD with the stuff that I witness at the supermarket—but it is alarming, isn’t it? Kids are plentiful with germs—but too cute not to deal with. I’ll send you a truckload of Purell for you!

Laura: Isn't it a rule or 'law' that says, "No shoes, no shirt, no service?" Or is that only in the northern parts?

Casually Me said...

Germs, sperms...whatever...lol. Nice visit to the store. As always you keep me laughing.

GirlGoyle said...

I couldn't help but think of you today as I went over to visit a friend and as I was leaving caught myself picking up strewn glasses around the house, righting pillows and straightening out the door mat that happened to be at a slight angle. OMG...I've got it too. I don't think I was noticed, phew. You think OCD is communicable...hang on...be right back, I see a pillow on my couch that is sitting flat...and it's driving me insane. Someone stop me please!!!

~Deb said...

Casually: God forbid there's any 'sperm' lying around on those handles. Eek!

Girlgoyle: The worst is when I keep straightening the verticals because there's a little bit of daylight peeking in. It literally drives me batty. So that's another aspect of my OCD too.

Mike said...

What exactly would be the terms of said employment?

~Deb said...

Personal shopper Mikey... The pay is low, and the hours are long.

Video X said...

I can't even read this all the way because of Leatherface!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Scares me.

Saur♥Kraut said...

I am definately not going grocery shopping with you. ...Leatherface... *shudder*

~Deb said...

Video: And I thought you were a tough cookie! ;)

Saur: Well,...we'll just stay away from the meat section...okay?

ell said...

sounds like the grocery store from hell....

the store i usually shop in now has a container of antibacterial wipes by the entrance so you can grab one as you walk in. great idea, huh?

have a nice weekend, deb!

Cinderella said...

Girl, I am sorry you ended up with a cold, figures the one time you run out and BAMM you get sick.

But the good news is, you had a good time that night. I am soo proud of you for not reaching for the tissues...baby steps, baby steps lol

Have a great weekend!! (Stock up on Purell) hehe

nosthegametoo said...

My dear, frozen hot-wings are not real hot-wings. But that's just one man's opinion.

I do love deli food though, even though my new butcher has tried to rip me off twice. Guess it's a new customer thing. But I think it could be motivated by my youth. I haven't seem him do it to anyone older than 40ish.

Happy 300th!!

Your fans love you.

say it hot said...

Congratulations on your 300th (threehundredth) post!

:D

Maddie said...

Happy 300th post! As always, very enlightening into the OCD world of which I am a member. Keep all the posts coming, its makes my day and whats cool is I get to read em before everybody else, Yay! Congrats,

Maddie

steff81 said...

Frist...what a freaky picture!

Second...you weren't blown away by the storm were you? I heard about a tornado warning and thought I'd heard wrong. Hopefully you're safe and dry!!!

Geek said...

happy 300th *raising my glass of germ killer in salute*

Keep 'em coming!

Pittchick said...

I swear I tried to comment twice already today and nothing! Blogger has it out for me today.
They were both long comments, too. ARGH!!!

Miss 1999 said...

Happy 300th Post!!! Deb, I hear you LOUD and CLEAR on the purell! I get OCD overload when I end up going to the grocery store, Wal-Mart- ect. It's just not right *L*... Anyway, sounds like you ended with with some nice things for dinner anyway.

PS: From what you were asking about on my blog (the paranormal information) here's our website:
www.hauntmastersclub.com I'll e-mail ya with some more info soon :0) In the meantime, browse around, we've got a lot of information on there :0)

kathi said...

Our grocery store has a machine that gives out wet wipes at the door to wipe off the cart handles. I hate touching handles too, but I'd gave that mom a kick in the butt for letting her kid mouth the handle, idiots.

Love you, happy 300th!

Dr. Deborah Serani said...

I am a germophobe too, and keep bottles of purell on hand in the car, in my purse, etc. Have you seen the new Purell ad "Imagine a touchable world". That so fits me.

Happy weekend!

samuru999 said...

Hey Deb~
Just a quick response to yours at my blog this morning!
I do not think you have weird taste in womem... but, do you think I have weird taste in men?
I will not hold it against you if you do!

samuru999 said...

And of-course I am just kidding!
I really did enjoy the concert though!
It was a long week for me!

LisaBinDaCity said...

What a day - oy!

And happy 300th... you don't read a day over 250 ;-)

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

I do not think I have ever had such an experience at a market!

Tyson? Do you know what a Tyson processing plant is like? Its…no, I had best not tell you.

Redefine said...

I hate touching anything in a public bathroom. I'll use my sleeves, or foot to open the door. I will squat to pee, never sitting on the seat. Instead of washing my hands I'll use antibacterial wipes that I carry with me. But I only get germ crazy when I use public bathrooms.

No_the_game said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
No_the_game said...

Seems like you and I can be happy grocery shoppers. I am in CA now. I went to a local river and swam my cloth on. Yeah I can see you are rolling your eyes or scratching your head and thinking what type of ppl jump in a river cloth on. So ppl like who do not see a clean, actually cristal clean river do it. But after that i decided to go to a grocery shop with my mom. Since I was wet I decided not walk thru isles. I was staning in a corner and watching ppl. I saw a lady in that grocery who looked ultra slim and was coughing her life away and sneesing and covering her mouth. Then grabbing foods and putting them back to isle.

Anyhow, I always try not to pay attention what others do on grocery stores. Otherwise it kills my desire buy food. U see ppl bringing food damn too slose to their nose(almost rubbing it against it) then putting back. Sometimes whole food have these "taste food" tables where everybody are sticking their long fake nails in. I used to eat from there till i saw a homeless person sticking his long natural nails in the food. That pulled the trigger.

Luv,
No_the_Game

~Dawn said...

Congrats on your 300th!
No retrospect like the tv shows do?

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

I love deb..

first up you should of made a B line for the soap ailse and bought some hand shit BEFORE you went shopping..second

i hate hot wings:)

Grace said...

Ewww, he was licking the handle bar? That's so yucky. I think you've officially converted me into a Purell user.

J R Estelle said...

Hey, thanks for adding me to your list of bloggers!

jali said...

I can't borrow old library books because of the horrors stuck on the pages. I'll only look in the brand new section.

I use can't watch anyone prepare my food or I won't be able to eat. I'll always find something wrong, so I have to look away.

A waitress once balanced another person's plate on top of mine (ewwww) and I was unable to eat the food. I'm sure it was good, but I just couldn't do it.

I'd rather fall down than hold onto a subway pole.

Am I strange?

DaBich said...

300 Posts...congrats. I'm looking forward to the next 300, since I'm a relative newbie
:)

The Absent Minded Landlord said...

Germs are like dogs, you can't let them know you're scared. My method to show those germs who's boss is to put my mouth right down on the shopping cart handle and give it a good lick before I touch it. Oh wait, this isn't helping you is it?

Taylor said...

DEB!!!

Greetings, it's me Taylor back from real world. I'm returning to dive back into bloggerville.

How's it been going?

I missed ya!

Talk to you soon,
Taylor

jali said...

Oh - regarding the new poll - for those who think gay parents would raise gay kids: who do you think
raised the gay parents? Heterosexuals generally. I just don't get the one sided logic.

Crashtest Comic said...

Leave the heels on, baby!

Madelene Rose said...

I'm sorry you went through grossness. I have my purell handy here too. My sister said I pulled a Monica Gellar on her over the weekend... Well, I'm on vacation! I'd clean and disinfect your house too, but I'm too sleepy now. I updated.

Woman! Update more often.. what happened to you? Are they making you work too much?