Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Psychotherapy Nightmare

So I figured it out. My psychiatrist has no pulse. He sits there and stares at me while I rant and rave about my life. I finally came to the conclusion that he’s not helping me. He writes out his scripts for my ativan and off I go to the next bar to enjoy a martini or five to take the edge off.

Where the heck did this guy get his degree? No cognitive behavior therapy, no reverse psychology crap maneuvered and no questions asked regarding the situation at hand. During the 45 minute session, this man picked up his phone at least three times. I fell asleep during one of his drawn out conversations and he had to wake me up.

“Tired?”
“Yeah.”

He stared at me for a good long while, and then asked, “How’s your love life?” I didn’t respond to it, after I had told him about the numerous amounts of anxiety attacks that plagued me and the depression that always seemed to follow afterwards. So to really see how good of a doctor he was, I tested him.

“Doc, I don’t wanna live anymore.” As I cried into my tissue about other things, peeking back at his face to see if there were any human-like expressions.

Nothing. Nada. He stared at me like a deer in headlights. So I took it a step further.

“I had a revolver in my mouth doc, I was about to end it all, but talked myself out of it. I still have those feelings though. What should I do?”
“Well, what’s giving you the anxiety?”
He asks as he fumbles through his schedule book looking for some important piece of paper. Did he have a script he was supposed to read off of? ‘In case of emergency, read this to them!’

Aren’t psychiatrists & psychologists supposed to help in some way? It’s not just an ‘ear’ I need. I need a professional to help me get out of this anxiety-filled pattern so I can live a normal life. I want to walk into a large supermarket without getting tunnel vision or flipping out over the millions of voices coming from every aisle. (No, not my head!) I want to go to bed at night and not have my throat feel as though it’s closing up on me. I’m up late at night trying to sooth myself to sleep.

“Well do you have a friend or family member that’s close to you that you can talk to?" Doc asked me.
“Umm, this is why I’m here…?” I said, in this sarcastic tone trying to figure out what the hell he’s doing in this occupation anyway.

I had to think fast. I had to figure out a way to solve my problem with doc. I needed help, not a dead corpse sitting in front of me. I needed someone with a pulse who is able to give me the care I need. This wasn’t it. This doctor let me walk out of his office knowing that there was a potential risk of me taking my own life.

I found my solution ‘for now’. I started a work out routine and I’m back at the gym. I also started getting Reiki treatments and I am a regular again at the spa I used to go to. The do everything from manicures/pedicures to deep tissue massages. This Thursday is my manicure and facial treatment which is followed by a Reiki session. I cannot begin to tell you how relaxing this is. For the same amount of money I pay to see my zombie doctor, I spend it on getting pampered---and I even look better when I walk out the door.

I’m dropping doc this week. Wish me luck!


TO THE DOCTORS IN THE HOUSE:
This post is written to also get advice to the psychiatrists who read my posts as well. (You know who you are...) Drop me an email or comment to let me know what your thoughts are on this. He literally let me 'walk out the door' without getting the men in the white coats after me. Is this normal? Even though it was just a test and I knew what his response would be, I'm just worried about the people who really do want to take their lives and go to see him about it. Is there anything I can do to report him or maybe keep the place he works at informed? Or is that a bad move on my part? I need advice!

32 comments:

Natalia said...

I have a friend who swears everyone should be in therapy. She says it has heled her enomously and that it's the only path to self-understanding.

She might be right. But then again therapists are also people. They are as imperfect and as complicated and as messed up as the rest of us. It's weird to think about putting your trust in them and them knowing what to do.

Maybe one day I will surrender to the couch.

-N

Karen said...

The Reiki, massages and the pampering is better therapy. Especially the Reiki. I had one treatment, a couple of years ago. It was a "last ditch" effort to find out why I wasn't feeling right, as my doctor thought it was all in my head. When the therapists hands passed over the liver area, that area started jumping, literally. He told me to have my liver enzymes and sugars checked, so I did, and found out I was diabetic! AMAZING! Accupuncture works well too, btw. Good luck, dear one. Keep your spirit well primed!

Mike said...

I'm going to consult with my stethoscope and white coat and come up with a solution for you. Right now I'm simply going to prescribe alcohol and no more visits to that quack. Oh...if I was close enough I'd give you a pat on the ass though...how does that sound?

Grant said...

Finding the right therapist is a matter of a) finding one who embraces a form of therapy you can work with (just from my college days, I could write an entire post on the various basic beliefs, some of which seem quite goofy), and b) finding someone who is good. There are those who believe their job is just to listen, although any who would take calls during your session is just a bad doctor.

samuru999 said...

I do so wish you luck!
I have never been in therapy...
probably could use some though!!
I do have a close friend that was
very scarred from some deep chilhood trauma.
She dropped her therapist ...
about two years ago...
as her therapist seemed to be
actually making things worse...
Since dropping the therapist...
she is doing great.
She is excerising and doing
mediation and her life is
in balance again.
She is truly happy now...
Take care and be happy!!!

Grace said...

What an ass. Although I don't think he should have checked you into a sanitarium, it was his responsiblity to try to calm you down... at least for the moment. He should've tried to "convince you" that there's always a way out of your problems. You should definitely ditch him. Working out and relaxing at the spa sounds like the perfect way to relieve stress. Oh and what's Reiki? Sounds very interesting!

the voice said...

I, personally, am not a big believer in shrinks. I am sure that they actually do help people. But I also belive that a large number of those people could help themselves, and feel stronger in the end knowing they did it themselves. Too many shrinks, I believe, are more interested in people becoming dependent on them, thereby ensuring a steady income. Reading all the things you have written, I believe you are an extremely intelligent person. You also seem to have an ability to zero in on the truth. I bet that with a little patience, and a bunch of work, you could "zero in" on the things causing you anxiety, and to deal with them, all on your own, and without medication. I may be wrong, of course, but I'm guessing I'm not. Good luck, and I will continue to lift you up in my prayers. God bless you Deb! Ken

luckysevn said...

O.K. - I've worked in a psych hospital, and it was this guy's responsibility both legally and ethically to have you further assessed... He sounds to me like HE'S the one in need of a therapist!

I'm glad to hear that you've taken charge of things yourself - I totally agree with some of the other comments that meditation (and yoga) can work wonders...

ONE MORE THING - have you ever been tested for thyroid disease or adrenal dysfunction? They can be MAJOR factors in anxiety and depression (I know from personal experience, which I'm happy to share if you're interested!).

luckysevn said...

Oh yeah - and I'd definitely report him to your state medical board.

[sic] said...

I've booted head doc's for less (primarily because I believe in the patient/doc relationship), and my take is you should have cut loose this guy a long time ago. If he can't provide for you his full and undivided attention... what are you truly losing?

The only downfall is starting all over again.

limpy99 said...

Here's my solution. We just had our basement redone, and we need to pay down the home equity line. You can come over as often as you need to during the week. I'll charge half what Dr. Strangelove was charging you. I won't listen to a word you say, but you can play pool or darts and help yourself to a wide selection of whiskey, tequila, scotch, vodka and various mixers.

AWE said...

I am glad you are kicking him to the curb. Did he get his degree from Kinko's?

Pittchick said...

Sounds like a shady doctor. I hope you can find someone that will help you. I know people that swear by their therapists, but I haven't tried it myself.

Burfica said...

gosh you definatly need to find another doctor. What a quacker. I would turn him in too. It would be horrible if he's hurting alot of other people.

kathi said...

You may be having someone in white coats showing up at your door. If he took you seriously, he may be required to report you as a possible risk to yourself. Let me know if that happens, I'll send flowers. :)

nosthegametoo said...

Psychiatry is an art. And like all arts, there are more practitioners than talented people with expertise.

I feel lucky. I have a friend’s mother who helps me when I need to talk.

All I can add is that I hope you find someone who is competent, skillful, experienced and wise. Personally, I wouldn’t even try talking to someone without 15 years experience.

Hmm… maybe I should be looking for someone like that.

Tense Teacher said...

Wow, what a loser; you were right to ditch the zombie.

Just an idea... I found my therapist through my church (don't know if yours can do the same); I was directed toward someone who's about my same age, with a young family like mine, and she's a perfect fit.

Sounds as though you're doing the right thing by giving yourself a little extra attention in the meantime. Hang in there!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

ok, i am not a shrink nor do i play one i tv...

but holy shit i could give you beter threapy then that woman..he obvoiusly is in it for the money, not the well being of his patients. I suggest you find a woman one...I dont know why, but i think women understand women better..

a man could not possibaly give you sound advice...they are stupid fucks..

good luck honey, if u need an ear, let me know:)

Sue said...

Reiki is a wonderful non-invasive method of energy healing. I am a second degree practitioner and people love when I do treatments on them. I don't do it for a living but friends call me constantly asking me for my "energy" -- it is actually "Universal energy" healing that from the "east" and has been around forever. I am fond of telling people that one of the most powerful reiki practitioners ever was Jesus. I do believe that all Moms should become at least 1st degree practitioners -- your kids will love you. My dog LOVED getting reiki as do my plants and sometimes even my car. The healing energy goes where you need it most and it may not be where you expect it. I have used it to help people pass peacefully and to help one woman with burns on her arms from cooking (no scars either). You don't have to believe in it either. It will help you anyway. I should actually blog about this subject soon LOL

Maddie said...

You have given this Dr. ample time and opportunity to be helpful and to provide some guidance. That's it, enough is enough with him. I am soo glad you've moved on to someone else. The suicide confession should have raised a red flag and some serious intervention from him, but to no avail. You are on your way to healing with the alternative therapies and a new Dr. Good for you. I pray for you daily.

steff81 said...

You seem way too put together to need a shrink! If it makes you feel any better, I'd lay on your couch while you offered me advice but those plastic cover things make me itch...lol. And in response to your comment you just let me know when and there will be an alcoholic beverage waiting for you ;)

Joe said...

Wow. I don't even know what to say about the incompetence of the doctor. Sounds like you're making the best move, though.

I left my therapist for the same reason. She nodded off a few times during our sessions, and when my depression was at it's worst, she would always say "Feel free to call me between sessions if things get too bad." I tried twice and both times she listened and then said nothing other than "Okay, well try to hold on until our next session."

The Stevo in H-Town said...

Why doya think they call 'im.."The rapist's?"

Russ said...

Yeah I'd say you're definitely not getting your money's worth with that doctor. You shouldn't have to pay just to have someone listen to you. Unless you're buying something from a bartender.

Casually Me said...

When you know more about therapy then the doc., when you could write the next DSM? by yourself, it might be time to think about graduating? Great stuff btw...

~Deb said...

Reiki treatment is a hands-on touching based on the belief that there is energy healing the inner spirit as well as the physical state. I went in for back pain once, and it totally took it away. It has so many medicinal purposes and can even make you over emotional about things you have kept hidden in your heart. It’s amazing. Some say it’s quite a spiritual experience. It’s not like a Swedish massage or anything, it’s more like transferring positive energy and releasing the negative. I could be wrong on explaining that—but it’s really relaxing and healing.

And yes, my shrink has to go. He has not helped me one bit. The ‘test’ that I gave him surely points out his lack of interest in his career.

If there was a mini bar in his office, I would reconsider.

Thanks for your input!

Laura Elizabeth said...

I'm glad you are getting rid of him. Report the sob to the state medical board. Please!

While you've found solutions to some problems (reiki and the gym), you still need someone. It's not easy to find a good therapist and I'll be thinking good thoughts (I'm not inclinded to prayer) that you find someone soon.

DaBich said...

Hi Deb, just had time to catch up some. That shrink sounds like a total loser. Glad you dumped him. Now report him so he doesn't negatively affect someone else who NEEDS a good shrink. God forbid someone does take a gun to their head and he does nothing about it!
I'll keep you in my prayers, hang in there :)
HUGZ!

None333333 said...

Ditto. Don't let this dweeb take your money anymore.

I'm not against therapists - I've been to a few myself but the Holy Spirit is the best counselor. There are therapists out there who really care and won't sit there like an idiot daydreaming. I would ask God to lead you to one if that's his will.

I wonder if you have ADD or something - I saw a commercial for it and it said people w/ADD are flooded with sensory input to the point that it's overwhelming. I used to have panic attacks but it's a lot better now.

None333333 said...

BTW - some docs like this pretty much make there living by writing prescriptions. They are therapists 'in name only'. As long as they give their clients their meds, the clients keep coming back. Sad but true.

Anonymous said...

I have been looking for sites like this for a long time. Thank you! » »

Anonymous said...

This is very interesting site... »