Monday, June 26, 2006

Pain in the Neck

It always happens when I least expect it. Some sort of weird ailment arises where I can’t do a damn thing. First it was the back pain which led to numerous visits to the chiropractor who did absolutely nothing but irritate me and show me how ‘excited’ he was to see me. Lying there on the table seeing his pants rise up while he 'cracked my back' disturbed me a little. That ended quickly. I decided to go that weird ole’ holistic route and see my Reiki massage therapist who fixed me up good.

Yesterday morning I woke up with a stiff neck. I’m chucking it up to stress. I’ve been suffering from anxiety attacks and constant worrying over every single fricken thing. I’m prone to it because of my mother. She worries about everything. She’s a walking nerve. She put the fear of God in me when I was younger.

“Don’t go outside up the road! There’s bears and wild dogs!” She said this so that I would stay close to the house. Fine. But now that I’m older, those words ring through my head leaving me to ‘stick close to home’ as an adult. See the manipulative pattern here? Lions, tigers and bears!

This morning I woke up once again with a neck pain that nearly had me paralyzed. I couldn’t look to my left or right—just straight ahead. Amy said I should wear a collar. Yeah, one of those ‘I got whiplash and gonna sue your ass’ type of collars. Can you imagine? At first, my initial thought was one of those poor funnel collars a dog has to wear so they can’t bite their wounds. That could start a trend---or just increase my alcohol intake.

“Look! Balloons!!!” Madelene screams, as she points to the sky outside the house.

CRICK!!!

For the love of God, my neck!!! I heard a crack and then I felt the intense pain go from my neck to my shoulders. I saw the balloons though. I guess someone let a bunch go loose and for some reason, they flew over my house, leaving me with more of a twisted neck. God definitely has a sense of humor.

Mom calls me.

“Deb? You guys wanna eat with us? We’re having chicken.”
“Oh that’s okay ma, we’re having pasta tonight.”
“What? You don’t like my chicken?”
“No ma, that’s not it… We already have dinner and my neck is really bad.”

*silence*

Well, I’ll have some left over if you wanna come down to have some.”
“Thanks ma, I’m fine…really.”

Guilt trips are frequent here. Not that I don’t love my ma’s cooking, but sometimes I just can’t make it. Either way, she ends up getting offended and starts assuming reasons of why I’m not touching her dinner. It’s almost the same as “Everybody Loves Raymond” where the mother has no trust in Raymond’s wife as far as cooking and providing goes.

Back to my pain in the neck…no…not my mother. My neck has been wrapped in a huge towel to keep it warm. 800 mg of Motrin have been consumed and a few massages from Madelene have been finagled. I think I might milk this thing for what it’s worth.

I also want to thank all of you who visited Madelene at her new blog. She was so happy to see comments! It has inspired her to write more. Bear with her though, she isn’t the quickest typist, nor is she handy with roaming around on the internet. She’ll be posting here and there. She loves to write, but sometimes doesn’t have the time. I encouraged her to blog because she has such insightful thoughts and a creative outlook which she hardly gets to show often in her line of work. I think it would be a great outlet for her.

Now to tend to this pain in my neck. Gotta call mom.