Thursday, June 29, 2006

Change

It’s been raining here for days. I woke up this morning hearing the sounds of a downpour as Madelene started getting ready for work. Storms always have this calming affect on me, unless I’m out driving in it of course. I feel fortunate that I don’t have to drive to an office anymore. My work is from home and I can enjoy the rain, rather than fear driving in it.

Ever since I got wireless internet, I’ve been working out of my living room instead of my office just for a change of atmosphere. As I gazed outside overlooking the view of the lake and mountains, I heard the sounds of ‘night’. It was humid out and the rain had just dissipated for the time being. Loud mating calls from the frogs were echoing out of the woods, and the sound of chirping crickets were everywhere—almost in stereo.

I poured myself a huge cup of coffee and sat for a moment. What if this all changed? Have you ever had that feeling that your life was about to change soon? I’m not saying I’m some psychic freak with ESP or anything---even though it does indicate that in my profile---but that intuition bug sometimes knocks on my door. There’s something in the air that tells me, “Your life is about to change drastically,” and I have no clue what that might be; although I can surely guess all I want.

Maybe the change will be my living arrangements, or maybe it’ll be a new career of some sort. I know that I am happy being “who I am”—despite what some harridan has to say about me. So I know that my decision about being in a gay relationship will remain the same—and so will my wonderful relationship with God. No one can tell me otherwise how to live my life…only God can. Sure I can joke around and come off as this freaky little wag to lighten things up; then some people take it as a contradiction to my whole being. Life is too short to be so damn serious. God is the creator of humor. I think that’s one thing a lot of people are forgetting.

I totally appreciate everything God has given to me. My life has been a true blessing. I can’t begin to tell you how much I appreciate each and every one of my friends coming into my life and especially having a wonderful family who are like my best friends. I may bitch and moan about this or that, but my feelings never change.

So needless to say, I don’t know what the change will be, but I’m willing to go through it and let God guide my life. Maybe this weather will start changing. That’ll be a start!