Friday, February 17, 2006

Psychotic "Or" Psychic?

Am I spiritually warped? Or am I just psychotically spent? I’ll let you decide. All my life I have had vivid dreams. We all have. What makes this a little different are my visions when I’m awake. My mother has the same thing too. If we are relaxed enough, we can actually see faces; various faces. We have no clue who they are and what they mean, but they generate in our minds. It first starts off with a purple smoke-like beginning, and then after some time, faces begin to appear. Sometimes I can see people doing ordinary things, as though they were just living life, doing dishes or whatever. I had even guessed what Madelene's sister was wearing and what she was doing at a particular time and place. Both were shocked that I 'guessed' so correctly.

I started getting upset over it at the age of twenty. I started seeing psychics and fooling around with psychic enhancing oils and other weird paraphernalia. Not to say that it worked, but something did happen where it was almost alarming. I would get short premonitions where I could guess what would happen in the next fifteen seconds in 'full' detail. Of course I couldn’t verbalize this—for two reasons. One, I didn’t want people to think I was insane, and two, I couldn’t get the words out before it finally happened.

Madelene and I went over to our good friend Nicole’s house one evening. We were all sitting on the couch talking. In the midst of our conversation, I saw (in my mind) Nicole get up, and walk over to the kitchen and say, “I’ll put a pot of coffee on.” Within fifteen seconds, she got up and did the very thing that my mind predicted. It seemed as though every fifteen seconds, things came to fruition. Again, (in my mind) I heard Nicole tell a story that she and I experienced five years ago to Madelene. Fifteen seconds goes by—and off she goes starting off with, “Oh it was so funny Madelene. Deb and I went to this place a few years ago…etc.” As she was talking, I sat there in silence. I couldn’t say a word. I started to get an anxiety attack.

“Deb you okay?” Madelene asked.
“No. I have to go.” I said, almost panicking at this point.
“Oh Deb, come on, relax. You’re at my house—we’re practically family.” Nicole says to me, trying to calm me down.
“No, I really have to go.” I said, now hearing words she was going to say to try to get me to stay.

Madelene and I left instantly. I had to explain to Madelene what happened to me in there. I couldn’t take another premonition of what was going to happen next. The funny thing was, it stopped after I left her house. (Temporarily of course.) I didn’t know what to make of this. Was I going insane? Would these visions drive me batty? Is it all in my head and just a coincidence?

I fell asleep that night, and remembered each dream. The one dream that bothered me—also affected my mother. I had a dream where my mother and I were having an argument. I remember each word we were saying and where we were standing. The next morning I told my mother about it, and she recalled the entire event. She dreamed the same thing too. This wasn’t the first time it happened to us either. I just wanted to test if it was true…and it was.

There’s been a similar event, to which Madelene and I both woke up startled.
“Where were you?” She asked—out of nowhere.
“I was in back of the stone wall behind the building.”
I replied; testing her to see if her dream was the same as mine.
“I was still inside with all those people.” She said. “I was afraid that I lost you!"

We both discussed the dream. We were both at a large party that was held in some sort of a hall-type place. Two men approached the DJ, and started fighting. The whole place broke out into a bar room brawl. People were throwing things, hitting one another and screaming. I couldn’t find Madelene anywhere. As soon as I heard gunshots, I ran outside behind a stone wall that was located behind the building. Madelene saw the same thing in her dream.

Is it possible for people to meet in a dream? Are dreams only in our minds? Or are we in a whole other world when we go off into a deep slumber? I was always brought up to not believe psychics. Even with my Christian faith, how can I not believe that psychic powers are true? Of course the credibility of some people are awful. Back in biblical times, they had prophets and people who performed miracles and magic. (This excludes Jesus---for that’s a whole other story!)

The week I was planning to go see my grandmother in Brooklyn, I had a dream one evening that woke me up right away. My grandmother came up to me asking me not to visit her. She didn’t want me to see her that way. She was in a nursing home, and wasn’t feeling well. In my dream, she said she was leaving. She wasn’t going to be here any longer. I woke up the next morning and told Madelene that my grandmother came to visit me in my dream. She said her ‘goodbyes’ to me.

About an hour later after telling Madelene this dream of mine, my mother calls me up and informs me that my grandmother passed away. Was it all a coincidence? I don’t know. It sure felt real in my dream. My grandmother even revealed a *huge* family secret that I refuse to reveal due to its nature. What’s done is done and cannot be changed---so why rustle things up? If I were to tell this secret, it could literally destroy someone.

Mental projections—also referred to astral traveling. Is it real? I’m still trying to figure all of this out; however here is my experience with mental projections.

I went through a very turbulent relationship after Madelene and I separated back in the year 2000. The woman I dated after Madelene for approximately three years was also intuitive. We shared stories of our abilities and also experienced some unique spiritual adventures that we’ll never forget. Anyway, we were on and off constantly. We’d break up---not talk for one month---and then get back together. The only thing that makes this kind of strange is the nature of our contact.

After a month or so, I would mentally focus on her. I would send her messages, and meditate on it. I know, it sounds strange—but she got each message. Within an hour of my meditation and prayer, she would call. It always worked. It never failed. If I didn’t meditate on it and send her a message, I didn’t receive a feedback. Even today, being friends, we still send one another mental vibes. I can tell when she is thinking of me. We have a very strong connection somehow, but not meant to be together as partners. Even when we first met, there was something too familiar about her. I felt too comfortable around her and felt as though I knew her from the past. Now, I don’t believe in past lives or anything of that nature—so why do I have that strong feeling? Have you ever met someone before, and felt like you just knew them? I hear all the time, “Wow it feels like I’ve known him/her for years and we just met!” This is definitely one of those cases.

I honestly don’t know ‘what I have’, but it’s sometimes fun to tap into it. Back when I was twenty years old, I prayed that it would go away. I wasn’t ready. I didn’t like what I was seeing. It scared me so much, that I would keep praying until the visions were gone. Today? I pray that they come back.

I’m not saying that I want to be another Sylvia Browne or Miss. Cleo, but I wouldn’t mind a little help from up above---“if” that’s where it’s coming from.

What are you thoughts regarding psychic powers—and if they’re real? What about the ability to sense a spiritual presence? I would love to hear your experiences. I know everyone has at least one unexplainable story or two.