Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Debating Dates

Oh who am I kidding? I always tend to think there’s hope to find new and exciting people out there to make friends with; whether it’s going out to the bar mingling, or even online. I’ve met a few people within the last couple of years. I found the friendships I developed were quite complicated and full of surprises. Of course, I have my friends within my circle that I hold dear---but there’s always a tinge of excitement when meeting a new friend for the first time.

I’m so evil when it comes to getting to know someone. I sometimes badger them with political views and see where they stand. I delve into some risqué topics, and/or just embarrass them with topics they never thought would be brought to the table. I love the element of surprise. Just seeing the look on their face is priceless.

On one of my adventures of the ‘online dating’ fiasco, I encountered one girl who challenged me with intellectual conversation. Yes—I said it---I’m intellectually challenged----now shush! She intrigued me with emails full of thought provoking questions and views. We bantered back and forth with religious topics and political crap. It was cordial of course—but with ‘just enough’ edge to it. I immediately liked her. Let’s just call her “Daisy”. Yeh, you know who you are if you’re reading. (snickers) Not only was her picture beautiful, but her mind was amazing.

It was a Thursday afternoon, and I was sitting at my desk working. I heard ‘bling’----and it was my aol instant messenger. It was Daisy. I decided, instead of having these stimulating conversations over the instant messenger and email, I thought quickly, and came out with, “Whaddya’ doing later? Wanna go out for a bite to eat?” She agreed. I thought I was sort of safe—being that it was a Thursday, but she said yes right away.

We met at a bar & grill down in the east village. It was awkward at first, but definitely exciting to meet this piece of work, who has captured my full and undivided attention. She was a force to be reckoned with. She was definitely still beautiful—as her pictures were---but a bit more reserved that evening. I guess she was nervous.

During dinner, we didn’t speak much about politics and religion anymore. We covered the whole ‘family life’ and ‘how you grew up’ type of conversations. Her life was quite interesting and had a lot of twists and turns than I could ever have imagined. She could write a book with all her experiences.

After dinner, we headed to the bar area for a few cocktails. Yes Leesa---I said cocktail’. (She seems to think I have bi-sexual tendencies when I say that word. I’ve been using a lot of phallic references lately.) Anyway, while sitting next to ‘Daisy’, we began to talk about sex. I know—total faux pas. She had read a book I wrote that I never published called, “The Dating Pool”, which explains ‘what not to say or do on a date’. A guide for the lesbian personal ad dating services. Well talking about sex was a definate ‘no no’ in my book. It was sex, politics and religion. I was sabotaging this entire friendly date.

We exchanged sex stories and dating disasters and laughed at all of our adventures out there. I explained to her about one of my previous dates. The girl literally attacked me in my car. Daisy seemed to enjoy this story a lot, because I told her I don’t usually like to kiss a girl in the car for the first time. I explained that this is what happened when I met Madelene. That was our first kiss. It wasn’t a make out session—it was a ‘goodnight’ kiss. Big difference.

I started to feel something rubbing up against my leg. It was her leg. I automatically went into panic mode. I didn’t know what to do—because I didn’t expect this sort of thing to happen. She’ll deny the fact that she was rubbing my leg---but there was no doubt that her leg was moving across me in an up & down motion. Her eyes started getting glassy, and her glances were stuck on my lips. I knew where this was going.
(Write your own blog if you wanna defend yourself!...You know who you are!) I hear her now saying, “Oh no! That’s not how it happened!” Oh yeah---it’s true. Daisy was a wild woman! Remember, names are changed to protect the innocent---errr---the guilty, I should say.

She had her car parked outside the restaurant. I had my car parked down the street, because I couldn’t find a good spot. She walked me to my car. Yeh—of course she did. It was cold out, so I invited her to come in while I warmed up my car. We sat there for a while and talked. It was almost twenty minutes and I saw her staring at me. There was a silence. I turned to see what she was up to, and I bumped into her face. We were entangled in a lip lock that couldn’t be broken. Her kiss was aggressive and forceful—just like her political views. She started climbing over to my side of the car. I slowly brought her back into her seat---and sealed it with a kiss. It was going too far.

“What? What happened? You don’t like this ‘car kiss’? She says, smirking, as if she just broke one of my ‘do not attempt’ lists. She tested me!
“I’m not one to have make out sessions in a car as you know—but that was nice.” I said, trying to end the ‘friendly’ date we had because it was getting late.

The date ended, but our encounters didn’t. It went on. Daisy and I were hanging out almost every weekend. We would grab dinner, and then have make out sessions on my couch. It was ‘the drill’. Even though she slept over all the time---we never had sex. Honest! We would go out in the morning to the park, take long walks together over coffee, and bicker back and forth with one another with our different views on religion and politics. We looked like an old married couple walking around with our hands flying in the air arguing all over the city. We would come back to my place exhausted from the mental stimulation that combusted between the two of us.

Our little banters would turn into down right nasty arguments. At one point she was almost belligerent—forcing her dominative views upon me and telling me everything I say is ‘wrong’. Even when we weren’t getting into heavy discussions, she was attacking me for something else. If she was upset over a particular event in her life—I would ask, “Is there anything I can do?” She would snap at me and tell me I was being condescending. I started feeling resentful and became distant with her. She made me feel as though I was being manipulative and intrusive when I asked, “How are you?” She put up a wall.

Our friendship turned into periodic phone calls. It then resorted to the once in a blue moon email. Our emails turned into instant messages that were unresponsive. I decided not to do any of it---and let go. I miss my friend, but I don’t miss her combative nature. She always was on the defense mode. What was she afraid of? Even talking about everyday things was simply impossible with her.

So, the moral of this long-winded story is---never, ever talk about religion or politics on the first date. It’ll go on and on…much like this blog.