Sunday, October 30, 2005

Hindsight 20/20

“Why did God let this happen?”

Many of us ask this question when we find that things aren’t going our way, or something terrible has transpired in our lives. Some people even lose their faith in God, due to negative circumstances that occur in their lives.

“If there is a God, then why did He let this happen?”

God does things in mysterious ways. No one can see the ‘big picture’ of what God has in store for us. In fact, God will put a situation in our lives, or a person, that will produce a negative outcome. Why? Any negative experiences we have almost always produce a positive one.

“What the heck are you talking about Deb?”

Think of it like this… Artists, writers and musicians…what do they all have in common? Most of these people do their best work when they are in a depressive state of mind, or when they are on an extreme emotional high. Their talent is an outlet for them to express themselves.

“Sorrow is better than laughter, for sadness has a refining influence on us.”
~Ecclesiastes 7:3

This scripture talks of the learning experiences that we can absorb while going through a rough situation. It develops our minds, our souls and helps us to see ‘why this happened.’ Old cliché, “Everything happens for a reason.” It does. We go through certain things in life in order for God to teach us something. Lessons learned are through our experiences.

The other morning, I slipped back into a bit of a depression. I guess from staying home with my back out, I had way too much time to think about things. I thought about the turmoil I went through two years ago with my ex-girlfriend, and felt a little sad. I wanted to know why I went through such a traumatic event with her. The pain and sadness started to flow back. I wanted to know why I still feel hurt till this day, and why my ex, who says she wants to be friends, still puts me in this state of ‘torture’, by playing games. Maybe she doesn’t even realize she does this… There’s no game to play if the one party isn’t willing, right?

I thought to myself, I treated this person the best I could, and even today, I still treat her well, and she still has a way of putting me in a bad state of mind. Is it that I simply let myself go through this ‘bad state of mind’? Or is it that she just brings back bad memories; times of when I didn’t even value my own life?

I can honestly say now, that I am happy I went through what I did. If I hadn’t, I would have never written a book. I would have never written and composed songs that were through my anguished mind and torn heart. These things I feel grateful for. A positive result came out of it.

There is this documentary-type story out on the Discovery channel called, “I Shouldn’t Be Alive.” I’m not sure if any of you watched this, but it was about five people whose yacht flipped over during a storm in the Atlantic Ocean. They used their life raft and were out in the middle of the sea. Three people didn’t make it, and the two who did survive got to tell their story on television. Not only did they make a movie out of this, but Deborah Scaling Kiley wrote two books about what she and her crew went through.

Hearing her speak and tell her story of what happened, sent chills down my spine. To face death in such a slow and excruciating way, and yet survive it, really makes you think about life in another aspect. Her courage and her will to live says a lot about her strength.

I guess this weekend I reflected on a lot. I’m realizing more and more why things happen. Not only does my past open my eyes up a little, but it makes me appreciate the person Madelene is. How thoughtful, selfless and loving she is. I find myself having so much gratitude towards my life “today” than I ever did before. I guess hindsight is 20/20 and I feel very fortunate.

I would be curious to know what negative experience you had, turned into a positive one for you…