Saturday, September 10, 2005

Play Ball!

Bottom of the ninth, questions are loaded, Madelene tries to antagonize a Boston Red Sox fan at a local bar in Provincetown, MA last year in October 2004, as we all watched the World Series. Half Sox fans and half Yankee fans, it was a pot not to be stirred. Sitting at the bar having my dinner, I would secretly cheer (in my mind) when the Yankees would score. Madelene?....I’m surprised she didn’t bring her fricken pom poms. She cheered so loudly, as if she didn’t care that there were burly looking women who were Red Sox fans were surrounding the entire bar. I certainly cared.

“Oh how sweet, look’id’ dis, two little feminine New Yawkas’ ova here cheerin’ da Yankees on.” One girl said, sporting a very long “Joe Dirt” type of mullet.
“You know, they can’t beat the Yankees, it’s just a fact, they always win the World Series.” Mad replies, as if this girl couldn’t take her on.
“Oh wait- don’t choo worry—we’re winning dis one baby.”
“You know, I think Red Sox is a great team, I wouldn’t mind seeing them win this year for the World Series, it’s been quite a long time anyway.” I said, trying to defuse the situation that was brewing between Joe Dirt Dyke and my girlfriend.
“Awe, what do we have here? A Red Sox sympathiza’? Awe, that’s precious. Even more precious when a femme gets all up in da’game.” She says, as she rolls her eyes over to the big plasma T.V. in disgust.

Okay, now my blood was boiling. This was not supposed to be an argument for me to have. Hell, I sometimes can’t figure out if it’s a homerun or a touch down after three beers, so why even consider me a good candidate for this argument? After all, I’m “just a femme”. *grr*

Let me take you one year before that. October of 2003. Madelene and I are vacationing at Provincetown, MA, with a couple of other friends. We were at a club this time. They had the game on, as well as the music. Some people were gathered at the bar watching the game, while me and the rest of the crew were out dancing having a good time. I just can’t focus on the game if there is no sound. It baffles me how some people can do that. I’d rather listen to the game, without a picture. Not that I’m going to be walking around with an A.M. walkman anytime soon trying to get the latest scores.

“What the f*ck is your problem? You’re going to not serve us because the Yankees won?” I heard Madelene screaming.
I look over, to see Madelene’s butt in the air, leaning over the bar trying to yell at the bartender who was a little tiny feminine girl, with a big mouth. Madelene’s foot was propped on one of the stools, as she was leaning over the bar counter giving this girl a piece of her mind. This was so out of character for Madelene. I then realized the Yankees won, and Madelene was upset over the fact that anyone can even cheer on the Red Sox. It wasn’t a matter of the woman not serving her; Madelene was the one with the big mouth! She needed to be cut!

It looks like this year, we will be in Provincetown again. Yankees won eight to four last night, defeating the Red Sox. The Yanks are now three games behind. Although I love the Yankee’s playing, I am kind of hoping they don’t go to the World Series, for the sake of Madelene not starting a bar room brawl. Then again, she would just cheer on the other team, just to piss the Red Sox fans off. No one knows this side of my sweet, loving girlfriend, but beware, do not cross her path with a Red Sox hat on. Last year, I went to buy a Red Sox hat, not only because red is my favorite color, but it would make me appear less threatening. People wouldn’t have to think, “Hmm, is she for ‘us’? Or is she the enemy?” For the love of God we’re in their state! I’m a coward! I can’t run around wearing a Yankee hat! They’ll attack!

Back to current times. Last night, Madelene and I come home from dinner so we can watch the game. I went into the kitchen to get us both a beer, and hear her clapping like a crazy lunatic that just got out of an insane asylum.

“They won! They did it! They won!” She screams and chants as she swings me around the room. Didn't realize she had the strength! See picture below.

I’m thinking about booking my October trip in Manhattan, with my fellow Yankee friends. I can’t go through another baseball war between a mob of dykes and my girlfriend.

God help us all.


Bean Town Butch said...


You Yankee, bleacher creater trash better stay out of MY town and P-Town too!!!

~Deb said...

Bring it on with your hillbilly looking team--and your hillbilly looking fans! They'll never get a touchdown or a hole in one ever again! ARGH! Don't tell me that the Yankees won't make another goal.

Bean Town Butch said...

You're way off base with your knowledge of sports. BTW, Johnny Damon looks striking after his Queer Eye makeover...

Us Bostonians aren't afraid of you Yankees winning another Stanley Cup.

Me & my fellow Sox fans have two seats waiting for you & your girlfriend at Fenway...(Wear your Giants' Helmets)

~Deb said...

Who gives a rat's @ss about Johnny Damon---check out his wife! Whoa! I'm really there to see Tiger Woods though- his wife is gorgeous too.

The only thing Boston has going for them is their New England Clam Chowder, ...the bad thing about the that is, the lesbians over in P-Town eat way too much of it.

The good thing about that part?

Great whale watching.

Bean Town Butch said...

Hey! There's a lot more to enjoy than just our clams. ;)

I can't wait for the Women's kiss-in! Are you participating this year?? PLEASE try not to attack us beautiful, voluptous New England chicks!

~Deb said...

The great bearded clam. Hmm. That needs the Brazillion touch, don't ya think?

Oh yeah, forgot about the Women's Kiss-In. I'm trying to find a partner to go to that event with. My girlfriend is too.

As far as voluptous women go- nothing wrong with some decent sized curves. ;)

Okay, back to my clam chowder! No more comments Bean Town B*tch.

LisaBinDaCity said...

Every time I visit here there is a fight going! LOL!!! Thanks for the entertainment Deb ;-)

Madelene (Deb's girlfriend) said...

You have the story backwards. I was minding my own business, and trying to get a Cape Cod drink when the bartender started yelling and screaming at me as to why I spilled the drinks all over the bar. When I got to the bar it was already wet, someone before me did it. She started yelling and screaming at me calling me a Yankee fan. This was before I was baseball crazy. I even had an innocent bystander New England chick stick up for me to the bartender saying it wasn't me.

I will accept your apology and stop picking on me!

~Deb said...

Can't bring her anywhere. Spilling drinks all over, starting bar room brawls---what next???

I decided to put a leash on her this year, when we go to P-Town in October. She is uncontrollable.

I still love her! (just like a little baby pitbull)