Friday, August 26, 2005

Love of My Life



You’re the only one who knows me inside and out. You understand all my manias, my idiosyncrasies, and you stand by me regardless. I remember the evening you called me when we were dating.
“Deb, want some company? I’ll bring some movies over.”
“But it’s raining so hard, it’s left over from a hurricane and they told people to stay off the roads due to the horrible conditions."
I said to you.
You didn’t care. You drove over an hour to see me. I opened the door to let you in, and you looked like the cutest wet & mangiest rat I have ever seen. I let you in. I hugged you regardless of how soggy you were. It was that day, I knew you loved me. It was that day, I fell in love with you, and knew I didn’t want you to ever leave.

Sunset sailing on April skies
Bloodshot fire clouds in her eyes
I can’t say what I might believe
But if God made you he’s in love with me

December 10th, 1996, I proposed to you at Bocci’s Italian restaurant. Before I popped the question, you kept b*tching and moaning how I would never commit. You said to me that I will never settle down. You were wrong. In the midst of all your ranting & raving at that table, I just placed the ring right next to your salad dish.
“What’s this?” You asked, perplexed.
“Ah, you know I hate commitments and all, so I was wondering if you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me.” I said, as I kept eating my salad.
“What?”
I looked at you, held your hand, and asked you if you would spend the rest of your life with me.
“Oh my God! Yes! I didn’t- I didn’t-I really didn’t- Oh my God!” You stuttered; left speechless.

It wasn’t long after that when you moved in with me. We started out life together. I was twenty-three years old, we had our own place and whether you knew this or not, it was one of the happiest times I can remember. I came home from work, cooked for you, did laundry and you made sure groceries were stocked, we were quite the team. We still are.

Something inside me is breaking
Something inside says there’s somewhere better than this…
Sunset sailing on April skies
Bloodshot fire clouds in her eyes
I can’t say what I might believe
But if God made you he’s in love with me
Sunset sailing on April skies

Bloodshot fire clouds in your eyes
I can’t say what I might believe
But if God made you he’s in love with me

You accept me on my bad days, you welcome me with open arms on my good days. You know every part of me; inside and out. I love you even when you’re down or having a sad day. I feel your pain. I want to make it go away, if I can. I want to cheer you up with fresh roses and make you your favorite dish. I want to give you everything you never had. I’m glad that when you are sad, you’re able to come to me. I’ll never leave you, stranded; I would never abandon you—you’re my heart. How can I abandon my own heart? Do you realize how precious you are to me? Do you realize how much I appreciate you? If you don’t…Please know that I do.

I love when you’re happy. My heart gets big when I see that awesome smile of yours. You light up a room. Your positive energy is contagious, making everyone want to be near you. You are an optimist, never seeing the glass half empty, always seeing things in such a positive outlook. You’re amazing to me. I wish I could be more like you. You’re strong, yet you have your ‘soft spots’ where you can be vulnerable. You’re accepting, even though you are tough enough to set your boundaries. You’re a woman who’s truly a gift from God. I thank Him everyday for sending you.

I love that I can be ‘me’ when I am with you. I don’t have to hold back or pretend to put on airs. You love me the way I am, all my flaws and imperfections. I love the fact that you know how to have fun, whether it be out with friends, or just the two of us being home, enjoying one another’s company. Last May, when you and I went to the beach house in Montauk, they said that it would either ‘make us’ or ‘break us’ because there was too much alone time. I never had such a wonderful time, just being with you, sitting on the beach relaxing and talking. On the cold days, we sat next to the fire and cuddled. I was never so happy in my life. I think it made us, and saved us. We’ve been through rough times, which I believe happens for a reason. It only made me appreciate you more. I realize that you’re the best thing that ever happened to me, and I know that you and I were meant to be together.

I’m not sure if you know the extent of my love for you. I’m not sure if I tell you everyday. Sometimes I have problems being more open with my feelings, due to insecurities, so I am telling you here, on my blog, for all to see.

God has truly blessed me. I love you Madelene, and can’t wait to marry you...

Something inside me is breaking
Something inside says there’s somewhere better than this my love
Sunset sailing on April skies

Bloodshot fire clouds in her eyes
I can’t say what I might believe
But if God made you he’s in love with me
Sunset sailing on April skies

Bloodshot fire clouds in your eyes
I can’t say what I might believeBut if God made you… he’s in love with me… ~Five For Fighting