Thursday, August 18, 2005

The Beauty of a Man

“What?” You ask, as you gasp at my title. I had this thought today. I wonder, if a straight woman is curious about being with another woman, then she is called, “bi-curious”, right? What if a lesbian is curious about being with a man? Is she called “bi-curious” too? There are so many labels that people tag on to individuals with different tastes, different views and preferences in the gender of their partner(s). I dislike labeling anyone, including myself. Yes, I have been with my partner for eleven years, however, my thoughts are, I fall in love with ‘the person inside’---not gender per se. I do tend to fall for women more so, but who’s to say if I were single, and some man were to steal my heart away? You just never know. Some straight women don’t even realize that they are gay, until they are well into their forties or fifties, and leave their husband for another woman, who they fell in love with unexpectedly. How do you explain that?

“I never knew I was gay, until I met her.” I have heard this time and time again. In my beliefs, I do feel that two people who connect emotionally and spiritually will tune in to one another, leaving a gray area for ‘love’ to happen. It’s up to those two people if they want to pursue it further.

Okay Deb, where you going with this?” I hear my friends yelling at me through this post. Shush. Listen. Be open.

The other day, I decided that I was going to run a few miles on my treadmill downstairs. I had the windows open for air, and the shades up so I can see the outside. It was a beautiful day, I should have been outside running, but the neighbors vicious dogs sometimes strays our roads, so I have a little concern there... Listening to my I-Pod, getting a good pace up, I realize that my nose is itching. I start sniffling and then began to sneeze a few times. It was at that moment that I smelled freshly cut grass. I love that smell, but it doesn’t agree with my allergies. I kept on running and didn’t think about it. Then I started to hear engines of some sort. Oh! My landscapers are here! Totally forgot that today was the day they cut the grass.

Now here’s the deal. There are about five guys who work on my yard. Most of them work with either a guinea tee, or just no shirt at all. The last few times while I was sitting in my office, I caught myself staring at one of the landscapers as he was working. He was well built, beautiful skin that glowed, and he had very dark skin—yet you can see that his tattoos were visible on his upper arm. I believe it was a vine that wrapped around his huge arm. I don’t know why I was staring at him so long, since I’m a lesbian, so I shook it off and just started working again. Fine. Done. I was probably just in a daze.

Back to the treadmill. Windows open, freshly cut grass irritating the hell out of me, I see “him”. He is right outside my window. Oh my God! He can see me. I can see him. We actually caught each other’s eyes. GASP! Keep running, keep running, don’t look, don’t look… He was weed wacking near the side of the window where I was at. I saw him up close and personal. Wow! This man is absolutely a work of art. His sculpted physique that glistened in the sun had me mesmerized. Each ripple on his six-pack abs were just amazing; as if some artist sculpted him. We caught eyes again. He waves…I wave back. Oh God what did I do? Forget it, he’s the landscaper, so he’s just saying hi because he works for us. Whatever. Wow look at those back muscles!

Today was a new day. I went to the gym to get a different atmosphere, and to also get a good work out. I grab my water at the counter and head for the stairmaster. Now, the stairmaster is placed right in the front, near the juice bar and membership/sales center. You can see everyone who walks in and walks out. Great for 'people watching'. I’m also near a huge window as well, so I keep busy watching shoppers pass by, people are smoking on the sidewalk, and other people are walking inside the gym. One person walking inside looked familiar. It was him! My landscaper! What? He works out here? Don’t look, don’t look, keep stepping, keep stepping….

I slowly look back up, and I see him going behind the counter, as if he was an employee there. Oh come on! He works here? He looked beautiful as ever, although he was wearing a nice short sleeved shirt. I could still see all the muscles that were protruding out. Our eyes didn’t meet, because I was too scared to look over.

After my work out, I headed into the bathroom to clean up. I couldn’t believe that my landscaper who I was apparently checking out was an employee at my gym. I walked outside the bathroom, to the counter to grab my keys that were swimming with everyone else’s keys and I heard someone say, “Hey.” It was him, my landscaper.
“Hi!" I said back.
“You’re non-stop with the cardio, huh?” He asks me.
“I’m trying! I thought you looked familiar! It’s nice seeing you! Didn't know you worked here.” I said, trying to end this conversation that can lead absolutely NOWHERE…
"I only work on Thursdays and the weekends here..." He replies.
“Enjoy your day, I’ll see you around then.” I said, as I was making my way quickly to the door as if I had an emergency.
“Okay, bye! See you soon!” He says, with this big smile—and these big white beautiful teeth.

Not only was he beautiful, he seemed as though he had a very warm personality; although I didn’t get to talk to him long enough. I just felt warm vibes…

My point of this is, that some people seem to limit themselves on what they think is ‘beautiful’. Just because one girl is straight, doesn’t mean she cannot find another woman attractive, and just because a lesbian found a man attractive, does not mean she is hopping the fence to become a heterosexual. And in some cases, some people do hop over the fence, due to an attraction to a gender they had no clue they were interested in.

And no, you can’t have the number for my landscapers.