Monday, August 15, 2005

Are You Hiding?

It seems as though many people build a wall around their hearts. They hide- so to speak. For many reasons, people do not want to become vulnerable, opening them up to ‘hurt’ and ‘pain’. There is a risk when you become close with someone—there’s always a risk. If we don’t take risk, we will never know what true happiness is.

I was reading this article in “The Word for You Today”—a magazine we get from a church, and it triggered something within me to post this on my blog. Let me know what you think…and how you may relate to this.

“Are You Hiding?”
When you don’t feel good about who you are a as person, you’ll use work, food, relationships, money and alcohol to build a wall to keep people from getting too close. Lasting relationships are only built when you stop hiding and are willing to become transparent. Another alternative is to keep the focus on others by asking, “How come she got a new house and I didn’t? Or, “Why did he get that job and not me?” That kind of thinking just causes resentment and makes you miserable.

But even worse than pretending with people, is pretending with God. In the Garden when God asked Adam, “Why are you hiding?” He already knew the answer. Nobody and nothing can hide from Him! But he wanted Adam to admit where he was and what he’d become. Why? Because until you face the truth about yourself, confess it and seek God’s forgiveness you’ll:
a.) find it hard to talk to God
b.) feel lonely and alienated
c.) struggle to look people in the eye in case they see the real you.

I totally believe in open communication, whether it is someone close to me, or someone I never met before. I speak my mind, and sometimes not everyone will agree with me. I don’t want to be one of those people that agree with everyone. That would be a boring world, wouldn’t it? We have our own minds, our own hearts, and our own way of speaking out—which makes us individuals. Communication is wonderful, not only for speaking our minds to our friends and family, but most of all, having a trusting and loving relationship with your partner. Being vulnerable and transparent to our partners is a crucial part of any successful relationship. "HIDING" anything from our partners only destroys any foundation you built with them. That goes along with trust---if the trust is not there, it'll eventually fail.

Now here's where hiding can be of some good...

I really feel that sometimes the gay and lesbian community will hide behind this wall, resenting people who have this, or have that… In the previous post, it was referenced by a woman who e-mailed me that we as lesbians have a harder time getting employed. We do? I haven’t noticed this. An employer doesn’t go by what sexual preference you are---and it shouldn’t be ‘known’ as soon as you walk into their office for that interview. Private lives should be kept ‘private’ in this particular case. Making it other people’s business is where they go wrong--business-wise. I have seen cases where some gay and lesbians were discriminated against due to their sexual preference…but again I will say this, it should not be anyone’s business at the work place who you have sex with, or what type of gender you prefer.

I understand that some gays and lesbians are proud of who they are, but you don’t see straight people prancing around telling everyone about their sexual preference. Well, maybe a few, but in any case, gay or straight---do you think we really need to blurt out our personal lives? What goes on behind closed doors should remain there.

What do you think?

2 comments:

funky_beatz said...

volatile subject you picked-
speaking your mind can be a good thing, but i do believe that we must carefully weigh out the consequences of what we say.
As for hiding your sexuality, I do agree that some people use their sexuality in a combative way, but not all. Some people I believe are judged at the work place based upon stereotypes. They are victims of a society that thrives on belittling others inorder to hide their our own insecurities.

~Deb said...

Speaking your mind is a very good thing---shows you're secure with your individuality. When I say 'speaking your mind'----I mean sharing, with your friends, family, especially your partner. If you don't communicate with your partner, nine out of ten times, the relationship usually fails.

I totally agree with you that some people do use their sexuality in a combative way, and I do know that 'not all' use it, because I'm one of them. Everyone is judged by stereotypes--be it gay/striaght/black/white/nationalities/religions and so forth. We are all at risk here for judgment from others.

People who belittle others due to low self-esteem and insecurities is sad. I agree.

I'm just saying, when you walk into a company/job for an interview, don't run in wearing a huge pink triangle on your sweater and shave your head the night before. ;)

Thanks for your comment!